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RSS FeedI’m still recovering from the Bourdain visit, but for those Cleveland ex-pats who may be curious, here’s Tony’s take on your former city in Sarah Crump’s story in the hometown paper.
And the 15-minute discourse between Tony and myself on WCPN, the local NPR affiliate. Just call me Mr. Stammers. Tony, of course, is the consummate pro.
I’ll piece together notes on the visit soon, though Tony threw some Tony Soprano wannabe, making me sign documents about what I could and could not reveal before the show aired, most notably about the drag race, something I’m only too happy to do.
But for the record, while I regret the little spill mentioned at the end of the radio show, Tony failed to note who bought the Schnapps and who’d been nipping at it continually throughout the day (claimed it was to help his "cold"). Gotta hand it to the old man for his stamina, though.
(photo by dave deoreo, wcpn–thanks dave, brilliant)
Loved the NPR interview, pls keep us posted on when it’s going to air so I can re-subscribe to cable just in time to watch the show.
I wonder if Clevelanders malign the place so often with their first breath before talking up its strong points because we’re the ones who live here and it’s so tough to do so. The roads were so bad at lunch today I wanted to (carefully) drive home and crawl under a blanket for the next 4 months, and this week alone I have 2 friends who are leaving town (one for work, one for her husband’s work) and another friend who got laid off. In a week!
That aside, I’m thrilled with the exposure the Sausage Shoppe has gotten and hope that it brings a big, lasting boom to their business. I agree these types of places would be SO overrun with business in bigger markets, I hate to see everyone blindly shopping at Wal-Mart and getting produce from Marc’s of all places. What is the matter with people?
Pass the schnapps.
Looks like Bourdain was freezing to death. Perhaps he has been spending too much time on warm tropical beaches? And I freely admit it, I’m just jealous.
It appears the photographer was on your payroll there, Ruhlman. You look great and Tony looks like he just left the road tour of “Night of the Living Dead Chefs.” Niiiiice.
That could be Bourdain’s driver’s license photo.
Maybe the picture was taken by the guy from the DMV, picking up some extra cash in his spare time?
Or maybe he was auditioning for a role as Tony Ramone.
Crappy photo of Bourdain, but I suppose that was the point.
Schnapps + hot chocolate = nice winter pick me up.
Are you allowed to mention what cars you competed with in the drag race? Let me guess, he drove a Cobra, you drove a Ford with a 351 Cleveland engine. I could see why you’d be only too happy not to reveal how the race went.
I’m really looking forward to watching that show air in later in the year. An early visit to the West Side Market was a great way to set the tone. He didn’t get a chance to see how busy it gets on a Saturday afternoon, but there’s no doubt about the excitement that it can bring to a foodie. The only thing I have not been able to track down there is ostrich, anyone have any places in Cleveland they know of?
Chris, maybe try asking at Kaufmann’s or Whitaker’s at WSM; they do special ordering and I know Kaufmann’s is now carrying duck legs and fat so they might know of a source.
That pic really is priceless. It looks like they’re getting ready to visit someone in the county jail.
To be fair to Tony, the picture at the WCPN link is much better. This one is much more entertaining, though.
Frankly Michael, it sounds like you had the time of your life being the tour guide, and letting your love of Cleveland really influence Tony.
And yeah, as Clevelanders, we do slag ourselves a bit too often, but I’ve found in other cities, people are quick to point out their city’s flaws too readily as well … except for folks from Seattle, who are smug for some reason, as if foisting flannel, grunge, and overpriced coffee on the rest of us is something to be smug about.
Just kidding … I’ve had great food in Seattle, but I HAVE met some ultra-smug idiots there as well. But we have them here, too. They’re everywhere. If anything, Cleveland’s an easy target for those of us who live here, and making fun of it IS easy … too easy, because it requires no work. But if you go exploring in the city, go find those great places like The Sausage Shoppe, or Marta’s in Euclid, the Seven Roses in Slavic Village, the Bavarian Bakery in Lakewood, or any number some great little food shops, restaurants, or cool stores, you suddenly realize that this is a pretty great place to live. And there is a strange and noble beauty in even the steel mills and factories, and run-down neighborhoods, and a grittiness and determination that gives this place spirit. Add in the amazing cost of living, and it’s a damn good place to live.
Anyone can break out … but it takes work to break in. If you’re a Cleveland, go exploring. If you’re from another city, come here for a visit … We’re cheap, the beer’s good, and there’s some great restaurants, too. And if you live in another city, go explore there, too. Find those great old ethnic mom-and-pop restaurants and shops, and patronize them. Don’t hide in your suburb, never leaving your zip code and thinking the be-all and end-all of existence is Sprawl Mart, Mammoth Mall, and TGI Apple Garden restaurants.
It sounds like Tony’s gonna do Cleveland pretty proud in his show … though I am expecting some snarkiness!!
Every Picture Tells A Story
The photo is a perfect illustration of what happens after a few days on Planet Ruhlman. Scnapps and pork for breakfast. Schnapps and pork for Lunch. Schnapps and pork for dinner. And not even GOOD schnapps! He buys it at Costco–in a BOX! Ruhlman’s refrigerator–overflowing with pig parts and pork-related swag. After a week of this–I’m surprised I didn’t sprout a curly little tail. Ruhlman’s backyard? Let’s just say I’m glad my girlfriend told me to put out my cigarette in time. Those chemicals are HIGHLY flammable. “Contents Under Pressure”? No kidding! And just before this picture was taken, I nearly got pistol whipped by some bison-sized drunk at the otherwise excellent Velvet Tango Room. (Ruhlman said she was his agent). As soon as my ribs heal, I’m checking in at Betty Ford .
I should add that the Velvet Tango Room makes an excellent negroni.
At least you didn’t have to eat the pig’s anus, right?
Are you kidding? Ruhlman puts it in the dehydrator and sprinkles it on his Bran Flakes!
Can you get by with a garden variety Popeil dehydrator or do you need some fancy-schmancy anal dessication device for that?
That’s kind of a tossup as to which is more inedible – the Strada Cioccolata of the pig or the bran flakes themselves.
On the other hand, maybe Ruhlman could package that and make money off it. Anus Bran – two scoops in every box!
And maybe get a deal to represent the milk schnapps you’d need to pour over it.
. . . What’s wrong with Costco? I like Costco. Its’ where I know I can get cheese (and decent cheese) for cheap. And a local assortment of central CA wines for cheap. And the only place locally that sells fresh fish that doesn’t smell like vaginitis.
With all this talk of anuses (anii?) and the eating thereof, I’m flashing back to “Guts”. You know, the Chuck Palahniuk story with the kid in the pool and the…yeah. That one.
Great piece on NPR guys.With all the crap you two throw at eachother who the hell needs cow tipping anyways?
Velvet Tango Room? Awww, man, you’re killing me! You went there? Okay, it’s classy, it’s old-school (sounds like the kind of place my grandfather, a bartender from the 1940s through the 1970s would have loved … or worked at), but it’s also not really the “full Cleveland.” Better to have gone to one of our fine dive bars … a friendly place like Jerman’s, or Cudnik’s, or the Finn Cafe, or any one of a number of workingman’s taverns … where there ain’t no negronis on the menu, just a shot, a beer, and an ass-kicking … Mike, you should have taken Tony on with a bowling machine, ’cause that’s how people match up in Cleveland (well, either that or actual bowling … but in a good gritty place like Dickey’s on West 25th or Mahall’s in Lakewood … come to think of it, you should have taken Tony to Mahall’s, which not only has bowling, but also has live punk bands on friday nights, DURING bowling! Now that’s a killer 2-for-1 combination, and add in some cheap swill beer, and it’s a real Cleveland experience.
Hope you did get into Mittal Steel … I’ve toured there more than a dozen times, and there is NO environment on earth like a steel mill, especially if they took you to see the BOF get charged … awesome environment, enough to impress even a world-weary traveler!
LMAO about the drag race. I cannot wait to see this episode.
I was happy to get a copy of the podcast. It was a great listen.
Tony’s picture reminds me of non-photogenic “Earl” on the eponymous NBC show.
A stint in the bush with the Kalahari eating uncleaned wildebeest anus, and you’re bitching about a week of schnapps and pork in Cleveland? Jesus, Tony! Are you getting soft?!
Damn. Bourdain looks like he just got flashed by Sandra Lee.
Oh sure. My chef-ly and author-ly hero shows up in Clevo the week I’m recovering from foot and wisdom teeth surgery. Couldn’t even stalk him for an autograph, what with all the Percocet keeping me from driving and all. NO FAIR!
(Mind you, my friends and their work-at-Lola boyfriends were taunting me with this…)
But, Shannon#2 – isn’t Percocet its own food group in Cleveland, along with cough syrup? (I’m only asking, considering the number of cough syrup and Percocet jokes on the Paintball Fight on TV blog (!))
Man, I’d've gotten someone to DRIVE me in – sorry you missed him, though.
Hey Chris, I always tell my friends that if I had to leave Seattle, Cleveland would be my new home. I love it there — you guys really do have it all. I’d even give up on the Mariners (not that it would be all that hard considering their last few seasons) and take up residence at the Jake. And now I’m going to gloat — it’s sunny and in the mid 40s here today. Pike Place Market was fabulous at lunch time.
Yeah, well we’re facing 6-12 inches of snow in the famed snow belt … though a westsider like me only has to deal with 2-3 inches. No matter, it just makes us tougher … and no matter the cold or snow, the West Side Market will be open tomorrow, and the brats at Frank’s will be absolutely killer … pure heaven on a soft roll (though they do have a hard roll). Can’t beat the price, $2.00 for a brat, or $2.50 for one with kraut. Best lunch in the midwest.
And while I agree about the Jake being lovely … I dunno, I think I’d rather have the Mariners. The Indians can’t quite seem to put it together, and you guys have a better manager in Mike Hargrove than we do in Eric Wedge.
And Seattle isn’t all bad … it’s absolutely gorgeous, and that’s the only thing Seattleites should be smug about. Props to Bainbridge Island, where I had a number of friends living!
But I’ll take Cleveland … and the snow. And because I’m a lifelong Clevelander, this snow ain’t nothing. No matter how bad it gets, it’ll never get worse than the winter of ‘78. Though older Clevelanders will tell you the winter of ‘59 was pretty bad, and REALLY old Clevelanders will mention the winter of ‘13 with awe. That’s the mark of a true Clevelander … we always know when the bad winters were. And we survive them, and it makes us appreciate spring, summer, and fall a bit more. Except of course for the annual failings of the Indians and Browns …
Chris, thanks for responding. I think you might be mistaking smugness for general Northwest unfriendliness. Being a born and bred Washingtonian, I will readily admit that we’re a pretty closed bunch until you get to know us. I find my Ohio friends to be much more welcoming and open.
Stay warm — and as far as the Brownies and the Tribe go, there’s always next year!
Yes, but Claudia — not being able to drive OR walk? Would’ve put a real damper on it, Percocet or no.
You have my sympathies, Shannon #2 – truly! (Hope the Percocet at least made the triple misery of surgery, snow and missing AB bearable!)
Tony looks like I just whacked him in the back of the head with my antique Griswold iron skillet. The preferred skillet for whacking TV celebrities.
i hope you made fun of mike for loosing that asparagus battle.
Michael I live around the corner from you and am a life long hts. resident and I am your age, we might have gone to school together, but I think you went to private schools? I also am a business owner in your neighborhood and I have read and enjoyed most of your books. What in world were you thinking to let Anthony Bourdain come here in winter and film in the places that they did and with the people they highlighted to be “typical representational Clevelanders” That show last night was the most god awefull representation of our hometown that I could have ever feared was possible to happen on national tv, it made me want to vomit. They depicted Cleveland as a horrible ancient polluted and obsolete wreck of a ruin of a ghetto. It was the most disgusting treatment of a city the travel channel has ever presented. I would have thought that you would have had some kind of control over it. Not one mention of NE Ohio’s giant cultural asset’s or any depition of the true beauty of this area except for you and your neighbor’s house’s. A truely sad and one-sided story was shown last night on Bourdain and I am totally disgusted by it!