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After boiling the brains of the chef contestants in the interest of better audio, and then frightening them out of their minds with the freakish apparition of an unshorn, unshaven Ruhlman for the first two episodes, the cruel masterminds of Next Top Iron Chef America decided to top themselves this week. The challenge? Using ingredients out of your comfort zone, prepare two dishes over charcoal in the midday Hyde Park sun. THEN, let them fester for a while–or drown in ice, while the production crew get their "beauty shots" and re-set their cameras (in my experience elsewhere, btw, that’s usually a LOT of time)–then present the less-than optimal condition results to the by-now cranky, sunstroked judges. The painfully pink-cheeked Ruhlman looked like he’d been gargling with lemon and vinegar as he managed to squeak out one bitter rebuke after another through pursed lips. Knowlton seems not to have disclosed a prior schoolyard incident with a young Aaron "El Guapo" Sanchez–in which Sanchez (it would appear) bullied him mercilessly. He seemed unnaturally eager to send him packing. The Ruhlman view seems to have prevailed however, and it was Morou Ouattara and Gavin Kaysen who were sent down to the minors. I’ve got big love for Sanchez–but I gotta say, I’ve gotta side with Andrew "Breck" Knowlton over Michael "Fluffy" Ruhlman on this one. I don’t like sequential, separated elements on my plate either–but dude! Morou seemed to do more–LOTS more–with less. The stuff at least LOOKED like it came out of a restaurant kitchen–and used the protein twice. Sanchez grilled snail kabobs. And served it with a salad. All for the good. I love watching the Terrible Troika of Symon,Sanchez and Cosentino..and I’m frankly glad the band hasn’t split up yet. Besh (who I don’t know) looked strong. Symon’s polenta was genius. Alton–clearly tasked with the challenging responsibility of providing a steady stream of witty banter and "keeping the energy level up", seems the odd man out amongst the other stone faced judges. I take cruel (and completely uncalled for) pleasure in his discomfort. Maybe more Mountain Dew will help. Kaga Junior didn’t even show up again this episode. What? Like the guy is too expensive? Other commitments? What work is HE getting? It’s called Next Iron Chef America!! I want to see the motherfucker doin’ backflips all over campus! And I’m still enjoying the show.
That said, I guess I should point out that on the OTHER cooking competition, the food comes right off the fire and into the judges’ faces. And that next week’s NICA tease promises "Snacks On A Plane" . I saw that somewhere…Where was that again?
So did the boys go out for a nitecap after daily judgings? Or do their handlers keep them seperated? Seems like in the end, they would probably all get along..even that pud Besh……OK I know he’s a nice guy.
LMAO!! “Kaga Junior… I want to see this m-f’er doin’ backflips all over campus!”
Also, what happens to the eliminated chefs? How are they eliminated?
Kaga Junior and his fancy knife work – Enter the Dragon Style?
People! You’re eating People!
Say what you will about Fabio Knowlton, the single thing on his Food Network bio page that impressed me is this:
Q: What’s your alternative dream job?
A: To be a small-scale farmer who produces food that makes people really happy and convinces them that they’ve been eating all wrong up to this point.
Give the man a hoe, please.
So, “Fluffy,” it’s safe to say that you won’t be inviting Fabio to guest blog here any time soon?
It seems the Iron Chef competition is a little like the Crucible at the end of Marine training (which may be why Besh is doing well? ha). With the plane shots in the preview for next week’s ep, I can only imagine they have to cook on the wing while the plane is taxiing or perhaps try to light a fire while parachuting from 30K feet, the kicker being they’re blindfolded and their “partner” pushes them out without warning.
I was going to say that Andrew is kind of scary. Like Boo Radley. But that would be mean. And Boo had no handlers. Plus, I think the producers gave the camera people strict instructions to not put the camera on him unless he looked Boo Radley scary. And whoever caught him looking like Manson got a bonus.
tana, fabio is welcome to guest blog any time–and i daresay he’d be less constrained than he obviously is on the bon appetit blog.
1) Cooking on planes, ha. Let’s try to make these clowns cook something from the cafe car of the 5:33 Albany to NYC Amtrak train.
2) It did seem a little strange that Kaga Jr. was, presumbly, too busy to attend.
Hopefully Kaga Junior isn’t out filming a sequel to Code Name: The Cleaner. I saw that movie on a flight from LA, and it was bad… but I couldn’t tear my eyes away because there was this guy on the screen who had a scary resemblance to The Chairman. Whaddaya know!
I think Alton comes across as kind of abrasive…which is exactly what I thought when I saw him on that poor excusive of a show “The Next Food Network Star.” I recall him grabbing the head of a contestant and mussing up her hair, saying she looked too polished. He seemed to do it with a tad too much vigor, and I’ve noticed that agressive glint in his eye on several occassions. Maybe he gets tired of people around him not being as knowledgable as he is. Who knows. I hope he isn’t a meanie in person….I mean, everyone loves a sarcastic wit but there seems to be a bit more anger there. Am I totally off base?
I don’t remember the hair-mussing incident that way at all.
Hey! Mark Dacascos was MANI in “Brotherhood of the Wolf” and the STAR of the almost-a-hit syndicated TV show “The Crow: Stairway To Heaven”. Someone like that must be in HUGE demand! Jet Li ain’t getting any younger!
I don’t mind Alton getting sharp with the contestants when they refuse to put down their knives or stop plating, and he certainly tries for tact when he has to send a chef packing. I do think, however, when machines blow up and things start going “pear-shaped”, all he needs is to have the camera catch it and to comment out of frame. To physically get in the way of a chef when he/she’s already in the weeds isn’t necessary, nor is talking to them. He can comment and make sure the hand helds get the shot without being in frame. I know I’D be tempted to step right on him as I rush to try and empty the non-freezing ice cream out of the ice cream machine. I think we’ll be seeing Cosentino charging a cameraman a little later in the series, no? Good for him. Hey, that’s what a REAL Iron Chef would do, in te heat of battle!
I like Kaga Jr on video- it’s very “Charlie’s Angels”.
Funny observation.
Hello Iron Chefs
Hello Chairman
Maybe he should always “phone it in” and watch on a big brother like jumbotron. Alton can be Bosley.
The snail-kabobs looked horrid on TV. Maybe they looked better on the plate, but to me they looked too close to snails in their natural habitat. Call me old-fashioned (it would probably be the only time anyone ever has) but I’m thinking I’ll stick to the classic snails-in-the-snail-plate.
Every time I see Mark Dacascos doing actual movies, I experience a brief moment of serious cognitive dissonance. It’s like the natural order of things has been disturbed somehow. Then I drink heavily and it goes away.
Surprised you’re not ribbing Ruhlman over Cleveland blowing their shot at the pennant.
Anyone who was lived in Cleveland as long as Ruhlman is used to sports misery. I guarantee he was expecting the Indians to pull that colossal tank job. No need for us to rub it in.
Actually, Kaga Junior was just on an episode of Stargate: Atlantis where he was the leader of some outlaw survivor types who gave in to their enemy and were now working with them. he got to show off some pretty decent Martial Art moves, but the guy he fought had such a brute guy style that Mark’s movements almost looked comical.
“I think Alton comes across as kind of abrasive…which is exactly what I thought when I saw him on that poor excusive of a show “The Next Food Network Star.” I agree. In fact I thought he was needlessly cruel to the poor,suffering, out-of-their-depth inmates of NFNS. He actually laughed out loud at one of their sad little efforts. I’m still a fan, but less than before. But I don’t think it’s true that he “grabbed” the head of the woman whose hair he patted. He’s not that bad.
Tony! You’re back, yeaaaay. I totally agree with you on every single point. I too, recall the episode on the plane, and was dismayed to see it copied like this. It was a rotten challenge to begin with, although to see you judging and enjoying you slaughter the contestants was hugely entertaining. I also wonder where Kaga is……..as I love to watch his facial expressions on ICA. Plus he’s cute. As for “greasehead Knowlton” what makes a stupid and arrogant food editor need “handlers”. And why would ANYONE not want to talk to Ruhlman? Pissy little poof.
Sanchez is acting like a baby and does not deserve to be an Iron Chef…did he never hear of variety? Besh has gone outside his comfort zone already more than once, yet never gets credit for it.
P.S. While I’m thinking about it, I think Alton Brown is fantastic. Can you imagine the pressure he is under every week on ICA to maintain a running, witty, intelligent monologue? Yet every week he pulls it off in a classy and entertaining manner. I’d love to see Bourdain or Ruhlman do it. Now THAT’S entertainment.
Forget “Next Iron Chef”! How about “Next Iron Chef Chairman”? I wanna apply! Who can do four backward somersaults with the proper hair gel? Who can eat the iguana ice cream? Who can say “What was the key to your secret ingredient” sixteen consecutive times without smirking or dribbling?
I loved the ending where Knowlton was talking about how much he liked the venison and Ruhlman was all, DUDE! You were all over hating it! (paraphrased)
And Donatella jumps in, Now boys…settle down.
I liked Aaron initially but he does seem to be getting more whiny and put upon as the show progresses. It was nice (and non-Iron Cheflike) of Kaysen to help him out with the fire. I have always hated those charcoal chimney starters myself…give me an electric starter anyday.
I had a feeling Kaysen would be gone soon from the very first episode. And as for all the Breck, VO5, etc comments about Andrew, hey, the guy can’t help it that he’s really cute! He can help it with the whininess though. Quit judging him on his hair and veneers, just stick to judging him on his commentary. Still wishing we could hear more of the commentary, btw.
And yeah, I thought the polenta WAS inspired.
“The painfully pink-cheeked [] looked like he’d been gargling with lemon and vinegar as he managed to squeak out one bitter rebuke after another through pursed lips.”
Where TF do you get this from? It’s humbling.
This is why even us much-maligned vegetarians have to love Bourdain. He so damn honest–even about his buddy (whom I’m sure, in real life, is nothing like the glum, dour guy we see trading snits with Knowlton each week).
I’m very interested that Top Chef puts the priority on serving the food ASAP. That’s the only fair thing to do.
Very sorry that Gavin suffered from staffers incompetence and no one apparently tasted his food as he intended it. So unfair.
But how fair is it to anyone that serving food in its optimum conditions is not a priority on this show? Is that how it is on the real ICA? Do the judges sit and sit while food cools, melts, gets mushy–but camermen get those “beauty shots”?
Kali’s question is one that I would love for Michael or Anthony to answer, if they would be so kind. It seems to me, getting the food hot off the grill is more important than the beauty shot. Don’t most cooking show chefs make another plate to be used for the shot?
Breaks my heart that hunky Gavin paid the price.
Look, Ruhlman is obviously going for that mid-1980s Bryan Ferry look with the hair and as a man who is perhaps balder than Michael Symon, I can’t begrudge him his hair. Knowlton on the other hand looks like he’s still hung over from going to the Pearl Jam Grunge Retrospective. He’s too young to be judging food, he still looks like he hits McDonald’s four times a week before his frat party starts. Donatella is hot, “nuff said” as the mighty Stan Lee puts it. Besh and Symon are going to be the match of the decade is my prediction. Sanchez gets too much hate from Knowlton, as everyone else has observed. And I also agree that Cosentino is going to nervene himself out of the competition. The contrast between his frenetic nature and John Besh’s “I’ve been shot at by Iraqis, you can’t rattle me” is significant. Alton’s crack about Andy Griffith cooking on Besh is B.S., the dude is from Louisiana and you handed him rabbit; what did you want, Alton, Rabbit A L’Orange? Tung Cho Rabbit? Brown needs to remember that he’s a southerner too, maybe he’s been spending a little too much time with the yankee crowd and acquired a little too much hi-falutin’. But hell, overall, it’s the only TV show I watch. That doesn’t have swordfighting and nude women on it anyway.
Should I stay or should I go?
Kali and Dianne: Food Network has done an “iron chef unwrapped” show before, and they explained that the contestants must plate one of each dish within the 1-hour limit, then cameras get the beauty shots. Off-camera, they have another 45 minutes to plate what they will serve to the judges.
Sounds like they attempted to do this (sort of) on the last episode of Next Iron Chef, but I’m betting they had culinary students mishandling the dishes — not the s.w.a.t. team from Kitchen Stadium.
Thanks for the info, She11ey. I never caught the Iron Chef Unwrapped show.
That sucks about the seasoning shenanigans. And Kaga Jr.
I want to see Besh win. I think it’s because his hair is a lot like Ruhlman’s.
Maybe he’ll be the top *cough* chef next week!
The chairman couldn’t make it because he is off in the Pegasus Galaxy.
I’ve eaten at Kaysen’s place here in San Diego and I can tell you he is no fluke; if his food was not up to snuff it was definitely due to a technical snafu and not his lack of skill or creativity. Ruhlman’s comments seem to confirm this. I’m just glad I got to enjoy his cuisine before he hits the big time in the Big Apple, as was inevitable. My husband and I got to meet him at El Bizcocho after the unbelievable eight-course chef’s tasting menu and he could not have been nicer. Bourdain, love your comments, keep ‘em coming, and where can we buy a t-shirt with your cooking skull logo???
Bourdain,
I’d love to know if you think any of the Top Chef contestants could have held their own in any of the Next Iron Chef challenges. Particularly, could Hung have been “the fastest knife in the kitchen” in the first episode of The Next Iron Chef.
I will be very surprised if it’s /not/ Symon vs Besh duking it out in the final, but then, I dislike Cosentino so I can’t be objective about his chances. Knowlton clearly has it in for Sanchez. He’ll have to cook his ass off to make it through another round.
“Should I stay or should I go?” ~
Posted by: Michael Symon’s Soulpatch | October 22, 2007 at 10:00 PM
…I think you should definitely go.
bookdiva:
For the cook skull T, go to http://www.grillbitch.com and order online.
Got mine a few weeks ago, including a surprise and cherished grillbitch sticker.
–parkbench
Just want to state for the record that I’m rooting for Cosentino for the sole reason that he graciously autographed my menu at Incanto for me (we dined there back a few months, coincidentally the night before his appearance v. Batali) –he even did the little pig cartoon.
Tony, you’re the impetus behind my badgering my poor boyfriend to join me in devouring a plate of what Chris coyly names “duck fries”. Regulars at Incanto know that while the items on the plate may indeed be from a (formerly boy) duck, they’ve got little to do with “fries” of any kind. And they are tasty indeed, although the boyfriend did seem to be crossing his legs a lot afterward.
And hollering out “BOLLOCKS!!”….damn, that is awesome, I am stealing that and using it at work.
I do however just adore Chef Symon more and more, and would shed no tears if he came away the winner.
On the bit about the food being immersed in ice water. This is astonishing to me, having actually attended the CIA in California, even if it was only for a one week course, I can’t fathom anyone at CIA having the sh*t-for-brains to immerse a cooked protein in ice water….I just can’t get my head around that one.
Bookdiva and anyone else who’s interested in cool skull-cook gear: check out this page from the Rudy’s Can’t Fail Cafe web site….great little diner across the street from Pixar in Emeryville Ca. http://cinderblock.com/bands/?site=RUD
Cheers.
I’ve really been enjoying the show. I, too, am rooting for Cosentino. I emailed him through his website once for advice about how to cook a veal heart and he was gracious enough to email me back.
Keep up the great posts, Tony!
Ruhlman’s hair reminds me of Martin Donovan’s locks during the mid-90s.
While it’s great to think that this is all about the food, there is an element of personality that needs to come from the chef while they’re cooking. What makes Mario great on the show is his playful nature – especially giving Alton the business. My original pick to win is Sanchez, but he’s got an uptight feel when he’s cooking. I can imagine him cussing out a cameraman. He might be too high strung.
Symon seems to be the best of the group for letting the folks at home feel relaxed while he slices away on the cutting board. He’s got the attitude.
Chef Symon doesn’t have any hair on top of his head. Let the soul patch go and he’ll look like a little cueball. I say the soul patch stays!
I get all the Chairman love here — during ICA battles especially he often creates moments of (possibley unintentional) hilarity (like when he gets caught eating things off the secret ingrediant cart…) but I don’t think he’s anywhere near the Original Chairman Kaga. Does anyone remember those incredible spangly outfits he used to wear? With the big sequined capes? It was fantastic.
OH! I just remembered — when I was in college (not that long ago, just a few years), I was taking a class called “America in the World” (American Studies major, holler). One day, to talk about the dissemination of American culture to the far reaches of the earth, we got to watch two videos of Japanese theater companies performing two seminal American musicals — Fiddler on the Roof and Les Miserables. So we’re watching Les Miserables, and who do you guess is playing Jean Valjean? Fucking Chairman Kaga! I nearly fell out of my chair; it was hilarious. Japanese is a weird language, it’s even weirder when it’s sung, and it’s extra super weird when it’s sung by Chairman Kaga and there’s no red pepper in sight!
I vote for the soul patch staying. And the original Chairman Kaga’s Liberace-inspired baron wear? Deliciously camp. I wish ICA had the camp. A small studio so there’s no studio audience? A floor reporter who doesn’t know his ingredients (Brauch, not Brown)? The camp having been surgically removed so the hilarity is unintended? Feh. The American version has always been soulless and flat, by comparison. The only thing I respect about the show are the chefs them selves. C’mon, how could you even come close to Sakai being bit by a cuttlefish and have a hissy fit? Or the octopus escaping, only to be breadcrumbed while he was still ALIVE? Or the chef in Battle Peach having his messy separation played out, live, while he cooks? Or the chef who got drunk and kept smacking the Kitchen Stadium assistants? Now THAT was video gold.
If I go there will be trouble
An’ if I stay it will be double
Posted by: Michael Symon’s Soulpatch
“Should I stay or should I go?”
I have clearly missed the best moments of the original Iron Chef. Claudia — please assemble a youtube video, stat.
As soon as one of our on-blog technoheads gives me a crash course in how to download videotape to youtube (Skawtie?), I just might assemble a montage. But, in the meantime, Food Network is rerunning the series (at 4:00 am on Tuesdays), and the battles in question were Battle Peach, Battle Cuttlefish (check the show description and make sure it’s Sakai in the battle), Battle Octopus (ditto – Sakai has bad luck with cephalopods and gets very girly when they squirm – and then bite him!), and . . . . Battle Angler, I think? I’ll have to check with my sister, the local IC “archivist/historian”, to see if that was the one with the drunk, assistant-beating chef.
And what about the grudge matches? Remember how The Kanagawa Faction kept on trying to take down Morimoto and any other IC Japanese who they felt bastardized traditional Japanese cuisine? Remember when Kanagawa SHAVED HIS HEAD? Where are the grudge matches in ICA? Would Batali dare shave his head if he suffered seven straight losses? Nan des’k'! (“Say it ain’t so!”)
The fact that the chefs have a short list of the secret ingredients AND, in the beginning, the Chairman picked the IC who would battle the challenger just made ICA pretty lame for me. (Except, as I said, for the chefs at battle.)
Soulpatch stays.
Alton is a wuss…this was confirmed during the last NFNS series when a contestant ran short of time on a demo and had to take the money bite of something with egg in it. Alton abruptly jumped from his chair and said, in a tone heavy with disgust, that he couldn’t watch someone eat raw egg. For god sakes Alton, belly up to a ceasar salad or steak tartare.
I’m certain that Breck has it in for Symon because of a few sotto voice comments he has made…more discontented mutterings than anything concrete.
My preference is for Symon and Cosentino in the finals…perhaps a battle pork belly.
Ruhlmann, I think it’s a massive combover ala Trump. But I still respect you.
Estatic to see you back Tony! MR + AB = “The Big ONE~”. Aside from that, Michael Symon’s soul patch should STAY! After all, a little fur somewhere on the landing strip eases friction on touch down! Rock on Brothers~
Far upthread, doodad wrote Bosley instead of David Doyle. Fer shame.
Can we work Cat Cora into that Angels scenario?
Sorry Forsythe.
I was just a kid at the time. Wasn’t the character’s name that he played Bosley?
I had THE poster and it’s likeness rendered on a beach towel. Ah, to be 13 and invincible again.
Claudia,
I too, would LOVE to see those Iron Chef episodes you are talking about! Alas, they are not repeated here in N.Y. on Tuesday’s, in fact, I’ve never seen even ONE. They sound fabulous, Do Something so that others may enjoy. Let’s all bombast FN with requests…..
Sheila:
So des’k”? (Is it so?) IC reruns are on FN on Tuesdays at 4:00 am – in fact, upcoming is Battle Ray, which I believe IS the drunken, assistant-slapping chef episode, not Battle Angler, as I originally thought:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_ic
Regardless of where in NYC you live, cable- or satellite TV-wise – Time Warner? Cablevision? DirectTV? – you should be able to get it.
Maybe Youtube has something on it already – now I’ve got to check. Allez cuisine!
Why does Knowlton have that scary Manson look in his eye at times? Ruhlman is cute. Donatella is an Italian snob. Alton, who I normally like, is ultra annoying. The FN is going to hell!
Why does Knowlton have that scary Manson look in his eye at times? Ruhlman is cute. Donatella is an Italian snob. Alton, who I normally like, is ultra annoying. The FN is going to hell!
Wow.
It’s funny. Alton Brown, who I normally adore with Good Eats, gets really bratty, condescending and bitter whenever he’s in a scenario outside of that show.
Now, as for the contenders. I think they’ve been pretty on the money so far. I’d be surprised if Aaron Sanchez makes it to the end. I’ve eaten at Paladar and Centrico and frankly, he’s a good chef, but he is a little one dimensional, even in the realms of his Latin genre. He’s too soft at the core clearly to handle the pressure. All of these contenders have at one point been the challengers in Iron Chef America, and the only two I really feel have the creativity and all around steadiness to make it onto that show, are Michael Symon and Chris Cosentino.
And my personal vote is going to Michael Symon. I love him.
Oh yeah, last thing. Tony, I hope to run into you at Siberia Bar sometime……
Sheila:
Battle Octopus, Sakai acts girly with the octopus, which then runs away:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHcolZiWjMw
The octopus runs for the border:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDdVQ5YL7UQ
Battle Stingray, in which a progressively drunken chef (Inoue, the challenger’s boss, from the sidelines – not the challenger, Koga!), first jumps into the kitchen and provides his chef with illegal assistance, then talks smack with Sakai:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIODYOaOiSc
then slaps the sous chef and disses Ohta:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7GC7k1yJpA (there was a second slap, and a second incursion into the kitchen
New York Battle, Flay v. Morimoto, Bobby gets electrocuted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNbpGLSWjgs
and Bobby jumps on the cutting board, enraging Morimoto:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKkCxjkWX3U
21st century battle, Flay v. Morimoto rematch – Bobby’s stove goes out and he implies sabotage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFxKmS0wtV4
and jumps on his cutting board AGAIN, ticking Morimoto off even more:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zR5lzLihew
Alas, I could not find Battles Peach, Squid or Cuttlefish anywhere.
You’re right, with Knowlton there is a kind of “You killed my father. Prepare to die!” vibe toward Sanchez, and I can almost picture them in a cheesy, overacted Latino soap opera, narrowing their eyes at each other in disdain…while wearing red capes and handlebar mustaches for no reason.
Knowlton didn’t even seem to have the same respectful hatred towards Sanchez as Inigo Montoya did towards his adversary – more like a snippy dismissiveness. But, as Michael has said, maybe Knowlton is just a victim of capricious editing. I think Sanchez hit him one too many times with too much chipotle – hence his “Latin comfort zone” comment – when really,
Knowlton’s criticism should have been about Sanchez’s overseasoning, not his style of cuisine. Or maybe . . . just maybe . . . Knowlton really does have a chipotle up his ass.
Well, true. But it is fun to think about. I mean, c’mon, I can almost hear the A minor guitar chord being strung as Knowlton sucks the air through his nose, raises his eyebrows, and shoots a long, predatory glare at Sanchez, to which Sanchez returns a smug grin as he dramatically flings his cape away to reveal his win-endeavoring dish.
…….
I could really go on, but this can most likely get out of hand.
But I loved Sanchez’s “You mean I can’t plate? You mean I can’t plate . . . this? I can’t plate . . . this?” So very New York. So very Travis Bickle – “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to ME? YOU talkin’ to ME?” Well, YEAH . . . (!)
That plating scene that Claudia was commenting on had me thinking of My Cousin Vinnie. “I shot the clerk? I shot the clerk? Woooooaaaaaaa!”
Like I said, a VERY NY thing. That’s where Pesce and DeNiro get it from. Like Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy – “I’m WALKIN’ here!” – was adlibbed, when a cab really did try to cut him off at the knees. Knowlton might be tired of Besh doing his “big country” routine (and I think it’s just him, not an act), but not as tired as he’ll be of Sanchez if Sanchez starts getting all up in Knowlton’s face, instead of Alton’s. Oh, man. I’m just waiting for the next time Sanchez doesn’t put his knives down when he’s told (!)
I am a big fan of both A. Bourdain and A. Brown (alphabetical order). I can think of no more knowledgeble chef/entertainers on tv. I think the perfect show would be for the two of them to sit and talk of food. It would be strictly impromptu and without censorship. I know, I know, too hot even for cable. But nevertheless what a wonderful range of possible topics. And beneath it all a true love of food. I know it will never happen, because even foodie tv is not about the love of food but the love of money.
But just imagine for a moment, the two AB’s riding down the highway on their Harley’s . One says to the other, “Last one to Greeensville has to pay for the duck fries!”
PLEASE SE EMY REVIEW OF ANTHONY BOURDAIN AND A PHOTO OF HIM ON http://WWW.TORONTOWICCA.COM
The photo is hysterical, OBLIZ. It’s a good thing we all know the Uzbeki has a Speedo on, and that Bourdain has a really good sense of humor about it, or – uhhh, we all DO know the Uzbeki had a Speedo on, right? Right? (!!)
Why can’t they have judges who aren’t douchebags? I know it must be part of the appeal of the show to have judges that you can’t stand, but these people, they’re such smug assholes. I can’t stand to look at them and can barely stand to listen to them.
Andrew Knowlton, he just sucks. Cracked me up that he’s referred to as “Fabio” Knowlton. Ruhlman…this guy, he reminds me of some very unlikable pompous Brit whose name escapes me at the moment, but he’s intensely dislikeable.
And that bimbo, I just ignore her.
What is it about the world of upscale culinary preparation that brings douches like these crawling out of the woodwork? The only one of these people who isn’t an completely unlikeable twat is Alton Brown. I like the silliness of “Good Eats”–he’s the only one of all these asshat judges on all these shows that doesn’t seem to take himself WAY too seriously.
I can’t stand Bourdain either. Why would I want to see this jackass globetrotting? The problem is that personality has trumped food. I’d rather starve than eat food from these gasbags.
Does anyone what brand the ice cream maker used on the iron chef was???? pleeeeeese help
Who is this douche bag Andrew Knolton? What makes him such a good choice to judge any chefs?
I have googled and searched for his qualifications and see he took a “few” culinary classes and worked in restaurants. Why is this unedicated low life, rude, crude, smart ass, with the awful hair, judging Iron Chefs? Has he ever cooked anything besides a hamburger at a fast food joint? Oh, by the way Knolton, (Fabio, wannabe) a fritter is battered deep fired food! Thats it dipshit. It makes no difference how thick or soft or hard it is. Look it up Mr. Bone Appetit Blog editor. I cant stand to watch or listen to you and then after reading the research I did, I have come, after careful thoughtful consideration that you are a fuck wad.
I can’t help thinking that, if the Earth tilted off its axis and we suddenly found ourselves freefalling into the apocalypse and, therefore, BOURDAIN wound up as a judge on TNIC (ha!), Knowlton would’ve bled to death from the giant chomp Tony would’ve taken out of him. One bite, and Knowlton’s bouncin’ and behavin’ Prell head would be off, dudes. Either that, or he’d have died from the cigarette burns scorched into his well-moisturized little hide.
If Kaysen needed to go home (to Boulud’s, no less) and mature, gain more experience, etc., then certainly Knowlton should, too. His judgment is not as informed as it should be – he just keeps having pissyfits.
C’mon Tony,
Polenta…genius? If Besh had made grits, would this be genius too? I’m assuming that the execution was perfect, but it seems more that he sold the judges on difficulty level.
I friggin love polenta, but most of the remaining chef’s platings appeared to lack creativity.
you guys are being too hard on Breck. He was wickedly hungover as i recall. and the editing doens’t do him justice. I of course am grateful for all the help i can get.
a word about this plane business. i was mortified when i saw a similar top chef challenge, as we’d already filmed our segment. then i realized how stupid i was for not anticipating it. producers, fretting how they’re going to pay for all this travel for many contestants, producers, crew, etc., think, “Hey, I know, we’ll turn the plane into the stage, let’s do a challenge on a plane and get THEM to fund the airfare for the free adverts! win win, right? brilliant!” well, brilliant by both production companies. maybe you’ll learn something about why airplane food is crummy. maybe not, but at least it’s in the land of weisswurst and schweinsaxen!
Funny! I was thinking along those lines myself: Andrew Knowsall would have been a perfect contestant for “America’s Most Smartest Model”. He’s pretty, not nearly as bright as he thinks he is, and the top prize is promoting VO5 Hair Products! How perfect is that?
I’m just waiting for the broccolini to come out.
I totally second the “Tyra Mail!” portion of that drinking game. It’d be awesome if the chefs suddenly started yelling it out… not like any of them have time to watch ANTM, but whatevs…
Knowlton seriously has it out for Sanchez and his “Latin” cooking – not a lot of Latin in snails though.
Someone in Ruhlamn’s earlier post said it but I think it bears repeating – there were OTHER secret ingredients in each chef’s cooler. I do not recall the protein being mandatory for both dishes. I think overall, Sanchez’s food sounds more appealing, but what do I know, I am not there to taste.
C’mon Bourdain, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, even if they fuck it up.
Actually, I think Alton was quite helpful in this episode, hinting that it was time to cook, or plate.
I think he should be more respectful when giving the denouments, though.
As for Kaga the Younger’s lack of appearance, we rather enjoy his video dispatches here in my house because it gives us an excuse to yell “Tyra mail!!” and do a shot. Oh yeah, we’ve developed a whole Next Iron Chef drinking game:
BeshSweat drips from nose = 1 sip
Symon Laughs = 2 sips
Kaga Jr. video = shot and yell out “Tyra Mail!”
Sanchez acts bewildered – 2 sips
Knowlton bares those veneers = 1 sip
Morou gets subtitled = shot
Cosentino pushes his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose = 2 sips
So yeah, we’re drunk three minutes into each episode. Thanks Next Top Iron Chef Star America!!
Was very surprised to see Sanchez squeak by. I thought for sure the judges would let Morou go through and Morou would then FINALLY mingle the food on the plate. Too bad about Kaysen, too. I assume the budgetary constraints of having the chefs travel meant that 2 chefs had to be cut this week.
Alton Brown is just really, really annoying in this show, which is weird because I love Good Eats… anyone else feel that way?