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RSS FeedGiven that I’ve found myself with the mixed blessing of a nomination for the "Cat Cora Award", I think it’s only fair that (after serious consultation with a Star Chamber of never-to-be-named experts) we’ve decided on a last minute addition to the award categories:
The Golden Mullet Award for Best Hair on Food Television
Nominees:
Nigella Lawson
Giada DiLaurentis
Michael Ruhlman
I think we know who the front runner is.
Amazed to see 2 pics of Tony and Rachael Ray — together at last. I wonder what they had to say?
This is really off the mullet topic BUT those pictures of Rachel Ray and Bourdain sort of made me nausous—she is so incredibly annoying to me. If I have to hear her say “EVOO” one more time or coin some new cooking phrase—my head is going to spin around. I hope Tony hasn’t completely sold out! As for Best Mullet–the award goes to Mario Batalli for his lush orange locks!
And, while I’m on a roll here, just WHO won the Golden Mullet Award, after all? I think Eater.com missed a few categories (or maybe the panel was too wasted to remember?)
Thank you for the votes of confidence, ladies, but the Merry Prankster operates from the sidelines (!) As for pasting the link, I just went into the colored links on the main topic labeled “here” and “here”, read the blog, and copied and repasted the link above, since Adam Roberts’ interviews were imbedded within them. Easy enough.
But Adam’s video still doesn’t cover the actual Cloggy Awards ceremony itself (now, does it, Michael and Tony? AHEM!), which is something of a letdown, since he covered the whole nomination process and debauched poolside voting. (OK, so that part wasn’t actually reported, merely inferred. At this point, I’m sure we’ll all take a little inference, insinuation, rumor, gossip and innuendo. PLEASE!)
Tony, please write up your thoughts about Robert Irvine! I always thought that guy was BS and now there’s proof!
I don’t know how to send the link for eater.com,either, and I was afraid copying and pasting might not be kosher, but all of the winners, save the Golden Mullet, are announced in their SoBe section, under Golden Clogs.
Still, I continue to hope for descriptions, videos or at least photos from the creators of the Cloggies.
OK, as a public service to the Ruhlman blog, here is the report from eaters.com – still hunting for video:
http://sf.eater.com/archives/2008/02/22/sobewire_liveblogging_the_2008.php
It appears on EATERS.COM, not Ruhlman or even Travel Channel? Oh, man, Michael – we wuz robbed!!!
Thanks, Claudia! I vote you secretary of the blog…now, will you come to my house and show me how to do that?!
I second Carri’s nomination of Claudia for blog secretary and would also like to nominate Claudia as blog jester. I did a spit take when reading about the loyal pool boys at the Raleigh and the possibility of extraordinary rendition (which happily did not occur) of the Cloggie twins at SoBe.
Eater live blogged the event and has it in their archives and from the photos it looks like beer was the beverage of choice…at least on stage anyway. If I knew how I would leave the link to it here, but I don’t, so sorry!
Oops, just read the Travel Channel posts. So it WAS Negronis. And, see, Tony and Michael? You should’ve hijacked Tyler’s event, like I theorized – not let him squirm out of yours!
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That was the funniest video ever! The “hot” oil and projectile vomiting…I think I’ll watch it again
Too bad the votes are in. I wanted to nominate Giada for the best boobs! I finally tuned in to see why my husband has been making so damn much pasta. If thats what carbs do for you why am I trying to waste away on the South Beach.
So, nu? Where are the Cloggy winners, Michael? And . . . . dare I ask . . . video? (!)
Thanks for the link Tags. Eric Ripert truly is a good sport. LOL.
I love Chris Elliot. I still remember “Get A Life” and the episode where his parents (Eleanor Donahue and Bob Elliot) were having their kitchen remodeled to push a wall out 6 inches. That show was often painful to watch, but you just couldn’t look away.
Yeah, Michael, the winners???? From reading Tony’s Travel Channel blog, I know that you have an injury, but can’t you play hurt? Tony doesn’t tell us about the winners either, and I was so looking forward to the red carpet fashions, and the description of the ensembles designed by your respective stylists. I’m still hoping for a video.
But if Negronis were the drink of the weekend, perhaps the amnesia and no doubt hangovers they induced, perhaps the entire Cloggie ceremony is lost in the mists of time.
Oops! I seem to have omitted a verb in my last sentence. I meant to say, “perhaps the amnesia and no doubt hangovers caused (by the Negronis) have left the Cloggies lost in the mists of time.
I could be wrong about the Negronis. It could just as easily have been Mojitos, or Kronenbergs, or, yeah, even ahuasca. In which case, you’re right, Adele – the Cloggies are in severe danger of being lost in a cloud of alcohol fumes, considering the drinking began fairly early on Thursday night (!)
Common Sense 101 CHECK THE RESUME IF U ASK FOR ONE….footnote see Robert Irvine…if it wasn’t so sad that everyone wants the next big food thing, it would be funny…no it is funny but gotta admit he is one hell of a con man
ps that should say it all about the foodnetwork how about giving support to PBS’s for now
Perhaps Eric Ripert will be involved in the hijinx. As you can see from this Letterman skit, he’s not above playing it for laughs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajwMKtqd52c
watch for Eric at about 6:15, the restaurant is Le Bernardin.
What the heck is a Mangalitza?
THE WOOLLY PIGS HAVE ARRIVED
“Have you ever seen a woolly pig? Well look no further, our MANGALITZA pigs have arrived. These Austro-Hungarian pigs were introduced into the UK in 2006, and are the first curly coated pig in the UK since the Lincolnshire Curly Coat became extinct in the early 1970’s. We are extremely excited to be able to show these pigs at Park Hall.”
“Mullets are all Business in the front, Party in the back!” Reminds me of the teeshirt I saw for a Texas bar, yers ago: “Liquor up front, poker in the rear”… but I digress.
Hair? Giada? Doesn’t she have a Brazilian Bikini Waxing?
Does being on tv briefly a la Next Iron Chef count? If so, BRECK BOY KNOWLTON should be included…
“Mullets are all Business in the front, Party in the back!” Reminds me of the teeshirt I saw for a Texas bar, yers ago: “Liquor up front, poker in the rear”… but I digress.
Hair? Giada? Doesn’t she have a Brazilian Bikini Waxing?
I have been trying with no avail and barely any leads whatsoever to find a way to get into the Golden Clog Awards. Anyone have any idea?????
Well, Jennifer, Bourdain’s making his critical decisions with Ruhlman poolside at the Raleigh, oh, say, anywhere between 11:30 and 2p, prime sun time, tomorrow. Given the huge Oscar-level importance of the nomination process – and the stringent secrecy – I’m guessing if you try to go anywhere near those two while they’re face down in their Mojitos, you will be savagely beaten back by Bourdain’s crack team of pool boys and bar tenders, all of whom have been ruthlessly bought and brain-washed with regular bindles of mind-altering – but totally LEGAL! – agricultural products Bourdain has accrued from his foreign travels. Oh, yes. The SOBE years have been good to the staff of the Raleigh, and they, in turn, would protect him and Ruhlman with blind, ferocious, goose-steppin’ loyalty.
So much for the Star Chamber-like voting process. As for the actual awards “ceremony”? OOoo, now that’s even tougher. Will Bourdain swoop in, like a ninja in the night, and hijack some other chef’s event with a perfectly-pitched bit of performance art:
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2008/personalities_info.php?id=114
or worse – is there COLLUSION involved? Have he and Ruhlman already conspired with their other appearing chef buddies (like, say – Batali?) to subourn their own event(s)?
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2008/personalities_info.php?id=3
Dear God, how can we know? Short answer – we can’t. But I’m betting on a Mario event. Especially if lil’ Jamie Oliver’s going to be there. Oh, yes. The opportunity for mayhem would be increased expoonentially THERE.
This, however, is Tony’s real SOBE schedule:
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2008/personalities_info.php?id=7
And, if you don’t have tickets by now, the question is moot. All we can do is hope that someone is there with Bourdain and Ruhlman – other than their bail bondsman – who will shoot those few precious moments of culinary-changing video. Assuming SOBE security isn’t already poised to spring and have them both ready for immediate extraordinary rendition to some fun place that would know, understand and appreciate Tony. Like maybe – Saudi Arabia? Rachael Ray’s house?
It’s just a theory.
Well, I was going to vote for Michael Symon, but I’ll vote for you too.
Darcie,
You seriously didn’t know about Marc Summers before yesterday? Wow! Who could forget the Super Sloppy Double Dare days? Sadly, being the host of a kids show is less humiliating to his career than being the host of that newest Food Network disaster, Ultimate Recipe Showdown.
I nominate Bourdain for: “Travel Channel Host in Greatest Need of an Aloe-Lotion Pedicure”.
Tony,
Soooo off to South Beach are you? May we entreat you to throw us a bone in the form of a blog entry or two? It has been WAY too long!
Ruhlman’s hair may be the most epic hair of any chef/pseduo-chef/food writer/food blogger/food person anywhere.
EPIC.
Nigella, of course.
Ahh, at LAST! The full list of nominees, a peak inside the drunken – EXCUSE me, the highly selective and well thought-out – voting procedure, and the obviously ahuasca/awa-fueled rationale behind those nominations! Oh, dear God, PLEASE let their be video! And Batali – WTF?!! He better reconsider and get his porky rufus’ed butt down to South Beach! Jimmy BUFFETT? Arrghhh.
Oh, and thanks to all the mullet connoisseurs who reported back. It’s true that Summers’ hair isn’t truly part-mullet, although I do believe it does reach below his collar. We just don’t have a name for that look up here in Yankeeland, folks. Urban mullet? Mutt mullet? Parrotfish Pompadour? The closest we have is the local TV news man helmet head/pompadour (quite different from the more dramatic New Jersey Crime Boss Pompadour), but what Summers has just . . . has no known equivalent up here. Didn’t mean to insult any true mulletheads out there (!)
The 13th Clog should be a Hair Clog. Around my house it is always hair that is clogging the drains. Granted, the kitchen sink has had some slow performance from grease…Maybe that is the 14th Clog … with Paula Deen winning for Most overuse of grease in all cooking (she deep-fried BBQ spare ribs on the Paula’s Party with the Neeleys.)
>>Paula Deen winning for Most overuse of grease in all cooking.
Not to mention what she needs to use just to get through tight doorways/
Have fun in South Beach…you bastards!!!
I had no idea who Marc Summers was until today. This blog is so informative…
I live next to Mullet Central (Kentucky), and here in WV we know from mullets. No way Marc Summers’ hair would be construed as a mullet. To be a mullet, the back of the hair has to extend significantly past the collar. Well, the collar area, because most people with mullets don’t wear collared shirts.
Personally, I find Guy Fieri’s hair truly frightening. Actually Guy Fieri is just disturbing in general.
Tony handicaps the nominees for each of the categories in a two part series:
http://eater.com/archives/2008/02/sobewire_tony_b.php
http://eater.com/archives/2008/02/sobewire_tony_b_1.php#more
Hello Mr Bourdain,
I know you are happily married and recently had a child, but I was wondering about a few things.
If you were still single, out for a few cocktails with the boys in Soho and you ran into Sandra Lee, tell me if given the chance, would you take the boots to her ? I mean she can’t cook, but I’ll bet she is a tiger in the sack. I’ve got $10 that says you would do it.
And a mullet in my parts is called a “Kentucky waterfall”.
> “Kentucky waterfall”
See also “Camaro Cut” and “Mississippi Mud Flap”.
I prefer ” The Missouri Compromise”.
as we say in Texas…
“Mullets are all Business in the front, Party in the back!”
wow, I forgot how obscene that sounds. It didn’t sound that way when I lived in Texas. But then I had a great accent to go with the saying…
OOooOOooOOoo – The Cloggies. I suspect the awards event will be a guerilla-like performance art/surgical strike right in the very middle of the very toney SOBE, so there will be no advanced warning of when you guys will make your move. But there must be video. Must be.
I’d lik to nominate Mark Summers for the hair category. I realize it’s hard to appreciate his crew cut pompadour when he’s seated next to his new homey, Guy Fieri, hosting The Ultimate Recipe, but since it encompasses three haircuts – a semi-crew, a semi-pompadour and a mullet/fauxhawk – making it a smarmy ex-game show and kids’ show host “chickenhawk” (“C’mere, kids and sit on Uncle Msrky’s lap!”)- I think it deserves a specail mention for awfulness.
So what’s become of new iron chef?????? Morimoto is great sport… but pleeeezeeee…
where the heck is Simon????????????
In the gospel of network TV, cleavage and hair trumps “just hair” any day.
Work on the cleavage. You’ll have your own show soon.
Ruhlman with cleavage? My mind folds in on itself in horror.
Business up front, party out back.
Ruhlman’s hair is kempt compared to Knowlton’s attempt at a page boy gone bad.
My tongue folded back on itself in nausea.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That was the first site I found back in…when was it? My favorite:
“Matrimullny
Priest: “Randall Mull, Do you take Libby-May to be your, bla bla bla bla bla…..?”
Randall Mull: “Shit ya!”
Priest: “Libby-May, Do you take Randall Mull to be your, bla bla bla bla bla…..?”
Libby May: “Shoot, I guess I do, yeah.”
Priest: “With the power vested in me and the state of Kentucky, I now pronounce you Mull and wife! Libby, You may kiss the Mullestache.”
Libby: “Awww heck, come ‘er punkin.”
….and they lived happily ever after.(in Blue Skies Trailer Park)”
But I digress. I guess.
I cast my vote for Ruhlman.
Is this for best hair of best boobs?
Oh, no you didn’t!
Oh crap. I meant to write “best hair OR best boobs.” All my credibility here is gone…not that I ever had any.
My husband believes Giada’s has an over-sized head, which should disqualify her.
What about Knowlton? Then Ruhlman might have some competition.
Typos must be goin’ round. I meant to type Giada has, not Giada’s has…
Bourdain…is a PAIN!!!!!!!!!
Nigella belongs in the MILF category.
I’d like to get a ladlefull of that.
A few years back, a friend of mine mentioned in an email something about a mullet. It sounded derogatory, so I looked it up in the dictionary. “A mullet?” I replied hopefully. “A little fish?” That merited an actual live phone call from her, and after she was done snorting, she managed, “Google it!”
I proceeded to learn more about mullets than I ever wanted or needed to know. I knew it was bad, I just didn’t know what you called it.
I don’t see where little fish or bad Southern haircuts apply here, but I do see the humor value in your use of the word “mullet” and that’s all that really matters.
Since the whole Cloggy Awards thing is facetious, I’m thinking Bourdain should have nominated Guy Fieri for #13. Or Tom Colicchio.
To the mullet-uninitiated, please visit http://www.mulletjunky.com for a brief (and scary) educational moment.
Ruhlman, I humbly apologize for being the first to bring up the subject of your tresses on the blog. I hope that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me.
P.S. – Bourdain the Brillo Head is just jealous of your lush locks, IMO.