Comments on: Introducing Teens to Wine

By: Ana

Ana — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

@okiefoodie: ‘I truly feel that we should reserve the pleasures and responsibilities of adulthood for ADULTHOOD! … I would just hope we could shelter them a bit longer from the inevitable realities of life.’ BAD freaking idea. One does not automatically become a responsible, functioning adult when the law says so. Thanks to a sheltered childhood, I speak from some experience here.

Anyway…

Susceptibility to alcoholism may have more to do with personality and individual tastes/sensitivities than lack of exposure as a child. I’m all for offering children little glasses of wine or beer with dinner, but I don’t think that is sufficient to teach children appropriate use. You might also be surprised at what they pick up on their own, for better or worse.

My own experience with alcohol is a little weird: My Baptist mother who preached temperance (but drank wine coolers and margaritas) and my alcoholic father steered me away from the stuff as a kid, but I later came to appreciate its finer qualities without spending many hours caressing a toilet bowl. I blame one of my favorite roomies in college, a chemistry grad student who loved cocktails, wine, and good beer and *GASP* enjoyed them responsibly. She made me quite a few martinis, and from her, I learned to appreciate alcohol for its flavor, not merely for the buzz. In 6 years of drinking, I have only been drunk once and still can’t understand why people claim to enjoy it.

By: troubled teens

troubled teens — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

This is a sensible and most important thing that is to concentrated by parents with immense care. As teens are introduced to drinking mostly by their peers, so being a responsible parent one must talk to their teens about drinking and the consequences in a healthy manner. As this is the important period of life it needs to be have all the information about drinking with their effects also. Now a days it’s became very essential to all parents to gather most of the information about teens parenting. Parents can get all the important information about teenagers by taking part into specific teens forums and discussion boards. Share your views with other parents.

http://www.troubledteensguide.com/discuss-teens-problems.php

By: Traci @ Soup of The Day

Traci @ Soup of The Day — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

I’d like to add… my daughter, on her 1st birthday…. got a finger-dip of the very special and expensive champagne we had to celebrate her turning ONE. She hated it. snicker-snicker. I’m sure this will not always be the case??

By: Shaun

Shaun — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

My father never made alcohol a mystery… he allowed me and my sisters to drink wine and sparkling wine during special dinners, he made me hot toddies when I had a bad chest cold, and he gave us rum & Coke for menstrual cramps (and I have to say, neither of the last two are true remedies for their respective conditions – but, it made feeling awful a bit better). He said he’d rather us drink at home than drink out, and that’s what I did growing up. None of us has ever had a problem with alcohol abuse, not in college or afterward. If I ever have children, I’d likely use a similar approach with them.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

I read both the NYTimes article and this blog post with interest. One angle that has not been explored is that many of us grew up drinking wine (albeit a small, diluted sip) every Sunday at communion. As an Episcopalian, there was no First Communion ritual that marked the first day to have the host; rather, I don’t remember ever not having a sip of wine on Sunday mornings. My parents are avid wine drinkers and were involved with their friends in wine groups from before I was born. Wine was always at the dinner table and I, too, was allowed a small glass from the time I was around 15 or 16. I contrast my experience of growing up thinking of wine as a perfectly normal thing to that of my 10-year old nephew who has teetotaler parents. On a recent trip to my parents’ house (he lives in a different state), he expressed shock that my parents were drinking wine with dinner, saying something to the effect that alcohol is bad. The rest of us are concerned that he is growing up without the benefit of being able to see responsible adults drinking as part of their normal lives.

By: Gael

Gael — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Growing up in a French backround I could tell you that I grew up without thinking alcohol was a big deal. I never got drunk until I was 22. That doesn’t mean I never had alcohol though. I have been consuming wine since I was 12. The first time I had beer I hated it and if anything I think kids should try it to at least take the mystery out.

I also lived in the conservative south where they thought alcohol was evil. As a result I knew people who didn’t have a healthy view of alcohol and they think they only reason for it was to get drunk. When my mom was growing up in France she said it was common for her to have a glass with a little wine and then filled with water the rest of the way.

By: the lawyer

the lawyer — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Not all jurisdictions permit children to consume alcohol (in any amount) at home under their parents’ supervision. If your jurisdiction does not permit such consumption, allowing it could result in unfortunate consequences should your daughter mention it, say, in school, where a teacher would probably be required to report such conduct.

Such is the society in which we find ourselves.

By: Rose

Rose — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

I think a lot of it depends on the kid too, my sister and I were both raised where the attitude was if we asked for a sip we’d be allowed one and in my later years in highschool if I wanted a glass of wine or a beer with dinner it was allowed, and once I got to college, while I certainly overindulge every now (and I’m sure my 21st birthday next month will be one such occasion) and then, for the most part when we go out I’m just fine with a drink or two. My sister on the other hand falls more in the bingedrinking category and I doubt that when she’s off at college next year that that’ll change.

By: DJK

DJK — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Stuff White People Like blog takes on the issue:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

By: luis

luis — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Of all the blogs I have visited so far and I haven’t seen them all….I have to say Ms Glaze’s is one that I have found fun and useful. Frankly the other blogs I have seen are like living in some other planet.
Foam? what the hell is foam and why would I pay my hard earned dollar to eat foam????? what the hell is that???????????? but guys don’t go by me. You do whatever you need to do.

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Starting at the age of 12 my sister and I were allowed to have 1 glass of wine at holiday dinners. It was done to mark special events and I think left us with the feeling that alcohol wasn’t taboo and wasn’t a big deal when done in moderation. We always knew that it was only with our parents permission that this was allowed and not a free pass for drinking before we hit the legal age. I remember feeling grown up (silly I know, but hey I was 12) and that it was a special event. I had my own “drinking in excess” experiences in college like many people, but that would have happened anyway whether I had a glass of Reunite Lambrusco or Canai (I never said my parents had great taste in wine) with Thanksgiving dinner or not.

By: Jennie/Tikka

Jennie/Tikka — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

I spent a lot of time at my best friend’s house, in my pre-teen years. They had quite a few parties. They usually kept the choices to 3 drinks. They knew we would be seeing adults drink and that we’d be curious about it, so they always allowed us to taste – not drink – whatever the adults were being served. This made us feel respected, took away the curiosity for us, and caused us to understand that things like Orange Crush and Welche’s grape soda were much more to our liking at this age and that’d we’d be more than willing to wait it out until 21 before we ordered this stuff as a primary beverage; ever.

Let ‘em taste…not drink.

By: Soup of The Day

Soup of The Day — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

I think all kids are different and what might quench the curiosity of one, might just fuel the fire for another. It’s definitely something that should be done with caution.

By: cybercita

cybercita — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

my parents {who were exceedingly heavy drinkers} gave us alcohol as a matter of course. when they gave parties, i always got a tiny glass of kahlua to sip on, and when i was in high school, my father {who was by then quite a serious alcoholic} made me a martini or gin and tonic when he made one for himself.

as a teenager, alcohol held no appeal or mystery for me, as it did for my friends, who went wild at the first opportunity.

as an adult, i’m completely indifferent to alcohol, in spite of being a very good cook and a food lover. i rarely even order a glass of wine when i’m at a restaurant, preferring to expend my calories on dessert.

however, i can’t say the same for my brother, who has always had problems with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and caffeine.

i think my indifference to alcohol is mostly because it makes me sick almost instantly. just thinking about champagne gives me a headache, and i can’t even finish the wine in my glass at dinner without getting sick to my stomach.

i don’t have children but if i did i would certainly give them a bit of wine on special occasions. i don’t see anything wrong with it. i think the europeans are right.

By: Heather Fletcher

Heather Fletcher — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

DJK…MY BAD!!! LOL Sorry bout that!

By: pchak

pchak — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Michael,
I’m far from a Francophile, but this is something that the French get right. As long as it’s controlled, there’s more to gain than not by removing the taboos surrounding wine. Our 10 month old twins get the ritual “finger dip” during our special dinners at home (primarily red, but some white for balance

cheers!

By: Diana C

Diana C — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

Been reading your blog for a long time, love it. I’m currently a 19 year old in college, I see binge drinking everywhere. I was raised with the occasional small glass of wine with dinner. If I ever asked for sip, I was allowed. I truly appreciate that my parents raised me this way. I see many fellow students who were forbidden from drinking, so they did it on the “low down” where it was more of a binge and even here now, when parents release their children into the college atmosphere, its taken so far out of hand. They want to experience what they were forbidden. Those of us who were raised to think of it as more as a compliment to food, are less likely to binge or even cross the line of drunkenness as I have witness thus far.

I recommend even with my few years, to allow your daughter a sip, to make her understand that the mission is to compliment the food, not to reach the point of drunkenness.If you teach her early on, it is better. I recommend to start her now, I know when I was around 13, there were many occasions where my fellow classmates slipped in alcohol at parties or even in class. I didnt partake for it didnt interest me but I could see others, that it was their first time. I rather see a parent take charge of such a new step in a child’s life rather than a fellow peer who more than likely is doing it because its taboo.

Best of Luck

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

You should read Angelo Pellegrini’s essay, “Wine and Children.” It’s in “Vintage Pellegrini: The Collected Wisdom of an American Buongustaio,” ed. by Schuyler Ingle and published by Sasquatch Books in 1991. I think it will pretty much resolve your dilemma…

By: DJK

DJK — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

For Heather and anyone else who missed the reference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo

(I was only trying to make a funny.)

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 06:00:00 +0000

When wine and beer are treated as beverages that accompany food it is treated differently and understood differently than alcoholic beverages that are used to alter one’s mental state. I think of all the young people pouring out of British pubs of an evening, one seldom sees anything quite like that in the wine countries of Europe. Maybe the tapas and wine bars of Spain come close but in those cases young people seem to treat drinking as a larger part of the social occasion rather than an end and means unto itself.
I think children and young people who are exposed to wine and beer as part of the social structure of a fine meal and in the presence of adults have a different sense of these beverages than those children who have watched adults use or abuse these substances for other purposes.
Pretty much every child will be tempted to see what happens when drinks too much but the child who has a broader context for these beverages also has a broader way of understanding their place and purpose.