A Flock of Haircuts

by bourdain

The words of film producer Dino De Laurentis came to mind when (finally) watching the DVD's of the first two episodes of Next Iron Chef.  Steven Speilberg had just had a mega-hit  with Jaws, and De Laurentis, announcing his next product, "Orca, the Killer Whale" was quoted saying something like, "They like the shark. So I make a film about the whale. Its bigger!"

I sense the same kind of thinking behind NIC. " They like Top Chef! They like Iron Chef America! Lets make Next Top Iron Chef America! It's bigger!" That said, I've scoured both episodes with increasing frustration, trying to find something bad to say. And the best I can come up with is that Ruhlman's hair is the scariest and most offensive aspect of the show. It looks like it's taking over his head! Like it's going to crawl across the table and swallow up half of Alton's face!  With Andrew Knowlton's luxurious tresses bookending Donatella's lustrously flowing locks, it looks like the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar up there.  But that's all, folks. In every other respect, the damn thing is pretty impeccable. If anything, it's shockingly free of the kind of overjuiced drama and pathos, the gimmicky product placement of its role model. Ruhlman's terrifying and seemingly unshaven appearance aside, the judges are well qualified to pass judgement on the chef/contestants--and any show that features my pals Mike "Screaming  Mimi" Symon, Aaron "Papi Chulo" Sanchez, and Chris " Guts'R'Us" Cosentino is worth watching. Hell, I could just watch those three goofing around in the kitchen for a full hour.

I admire as well that in the first two episodes, the judges kicked off both female contestants. I have no doubt that both decisions were reached on the basis of food alone--but the network can NOT have been happy at this development. I was personally shocked that the most experienced and celebrated chef of the lot, the one with the greatest stature in the biz, Traci Des Jardins, was first to go. Karmic payback, perhaps--for publicly swearing off foie gras at a time when her peers needed her? I don't know. I do know that they likely kissed off a larger potential audience by eliminating the women--and that--if nothing else,  it's a win for independent judging. After the humiliating public clusterfuck of Next Food Network Star, it's nice to see them doing something right.

I'm still recovering from a two week swing through England, Scotland, Crete and Zakanthos. Slaughtering goats, drinking raki and ouzo has left my critical  faculites somewhat..impaired. But I'll be watching more closely in weeks to come. If only to see if Ruhlman's grooming improves. Get a haircut, hippie!!

By the way? Has anyone been watching the new Kitchen Nightmares? Am I crazy--or is it as good as Hell's Kitchen was bad? I'm loving it.

Comments

[artnlit]

Oh Tony, Tony, Tony - too busy with the haggis and booze, eh? Ruhlman's hair is SO last week, my dear! We deconstructed it here some time a go. And you know, you are only setting yourself up for retaliation when he gets a look at your photo in the My Last Meal book. ;-) But I totally agree with your assessment of Kitchen Nightmares. There is something more digestible about Gordon in those settings. Perhaps because he DOES know what he is talking about and the the poor schmucks (and there seems to be at least one per episode) get what they deserve. Glad you see you back here. Cheers, artnlit

[Deacon]

Maybe I should check out Kitchen Nightmares.

See you in Austin. Are you doing anything besides the Paramount show? I was hoping for a No Rez Austin.

Oh, and I agree with you about Ruhlman's hair.

[Josh]

Mr. Bourdain, I'm with you on NIC (and Ruhlman's nightmarish grooming)

But Kitchen Nightmares -
I'm disappointed that the formula that worked so well in the UK version of the show was tampered with by our TV execs here in the US.
While the show is compelling, and the concept is excellent, the show has strayed from its roots. On the UK version, Ramsey spent time getting to know the principals of the restaurants, and really teaching them some bedrock principles of successful restaurant operations. The version we get is much more in the vain of "Ramsey yelling at people = good TV"
There doesn't seem to be as much of the heartfelt, and honest interest in HELPING people that we saw on the original UK version. In the original, you got the impression the restaurant operators had gained something that would lead to success. The current iteration leaves the impression that the operators are given a makeover, and a new menu, but not really given the tools that they need for prolonged success.

[artnlit]

As for The Next Iron Chef and the elimination of the females, yes, perhaps that would turn off the casual viewer or rampant feminists (sorry, but you know who you are), but overall, I found the judging to be fair, if not occasionally confusing (what ARE you truly using as a gauge?) and irritating (Andrew Knowlton is indeed knowledgable, but is a bit too alpha male to me, particularly when disagreeing with Ruhlman). I don't have a favorite contestant, although I do lean toward Besh and find Symon amusing even with that Satan-on-helium laugh. I look forward to next week when the removals double. ~artnlit
PS. BTW Tony, just so you know, I do expect you to write something reasonably dirty when I see you in Pittsburgh in March and ask you to autograph my copy of My Last Meal.

[stephanie]

Great to see you back here Tony! I hope that since your Bravo blogging is done for the season, that you'll make more regular appearances around here.

I agree with Josh that the UK version of KN is superior, but, anything that puts Chef Ramsay on my television for an hour is allright with me. (Yes, I'm loving the US KN too!)

[Joe Corey]

Bourdain,

I'm happy that Next Iron Chef is all about the work and they don't force us to watch the Chefs sleep in a dorm room. Just give us the cooking.

Too much of Fox's Kitchen Nightmares is staged for the camera (vs. the BBC version). The American version seems to be a cross between Extreme Makeover and Mr. T's I Pity The Fool (did you see what Mr T did to an Italian joint?). It's as if these places are more than willing to play up their faults in order to get their free kitchen supplies. Doesn't anyone clean their kitchen before the cameras arrive? It's like Gene Simmons Family Jewels or Hogan Knows Best.

There's too much gifting to take the show seriously. The first show had the place get an entire new kitchen. The second show was able to establish the Indian joint as part of Ramsay's empire. One guy was able to get his place fixed up enough that he could sell it. Everyone is getting something for allowing them to be berated by Gordon. And why does he always have to show us his nipples during each episode? It's not like he's Steve Guttenberg.

It's a fun show to watch, but it's just Mary Poppins if played by a cussing Scot. The BBC version is more real - especially with Gordon's voiceovers letting us in on his process.

When are you coming to Raleigh so I can treat you to dinner at the Underground?

[artnlit]

Whoops, meant to post "My Last Supper" as the title.

[logicalmind]

Wow, I find this turnabout fascinating. Nearly every bourdain blog entry has been about how out of touch the food network is. He berates their shows and/or personalities frequently in his television program. Ruhlman is not as bad, but has also been critical of the food network. But when the food network comes calling, ruhlman jumps at the chance to be on the channel. And now suddenly his buddy bourdain finds the show "impeccable". Has the food network offered to pick up "No Reservations" next season or something bourdain?

[Morgan Weber]

Great post Bourdain. I'm loving Kitchen Nightmare's as well. I even managed to get my wife to sit down for a whole episode. She swore GR off after Hell's Kitchen.

[Tags]

Herr Ruhlman looks just fine the way he is.

And isn't it just a bit disingenuous of you to be exhorting him to get a haircut when you know better than any of us that the filming was probably done a while ago?

Still, the JCS reference kinked my kilt and pinched my pipes :-)

I had written off Kitchen Nightmares as derivative of HK. Looks like I'll have to at least give it a look, what with the AB seal of approval and all.

[LittleMsMayhem]

TONY!

So true. Kitchen Nightmares *is* great, even if I can tell what the problem is with the place in the first three minutes.

When will you do a Chicago "No Rez"? I met you here a couple of years ago at a bar called Jake Melnick's -- you were very gracious. Would love to watch you eat your way around this town (and get the renegade foie gras!).

[Bryan]

UK version of Kitchen Nightmares: Great
US version of Kitchen Nightmares: Not so great

I'm with Joe and Josh...too much of the US version seems staged. Especially the episode (I think it was the first) with the guy getting into a fight with a bill collector.

I also dislike the narrator in the US version verses Gordon's narration. It really takes a lot of the personality out of the show.

[jsw wiles]

The shock of the first episode had me sort of wandering around for a few days, babbling to myself, "Hell, if Traci freaking Les Jardins can get the axe, then NONE of us are safe..." but then I realized it was just a TV show. I was wondering, though, why the "contestants", all of whom are Serious Food People, didn't tell the producers to go take a flying hoo-ha when I found out the hoods were turned off due to the noise interference, causing all their food to become freakishly oversweated. But that's probably why Besh's catfish dessert was so good.

Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares may be one of my all-time favorite shows on television. As a longtime restaurant flunkie, I get a perverse thrill out of watching him rip into these idiots, some of whom need to be publicly flogged for their hubris and general lack of concern for their guests. But then, that's exactly what Ramsey's doing to them. He also shows a bit of genuine humanity now and again, which I suppose is nice. I do miss the cussing that you with the BBC version, though.

ps
TB: I miss Siberia, from when it was in the subway on West 50th. Never be another like it. Too bad we always kept missing each other. I would have like to have had a beer with you, before you got famous!

[Burnt Lumpia]

I have to agree with you Bourdain. I wasn't expecting much from NIC considering the network that produces it. But I have been pleasantly surprised by the fairness in judging so far. I'd be interested to see your take on the show after it's completion.

[syoung68]

Nightmares was much better on the BBC. IT show what is probably a more realistic Ramsay. While I like the US version, it is definitely more staged. As for NIC, it is good. These are top notch chefs doing there thing, and I am SURE the network execs are fussed about the chic dismissals.

[Harlan]

I wonder if Tony's viewing on DVDs gives a different viewing experience than those of us who watched it on commercial TV. The episodes are CHOCK-FULL of previews of what's happening in the next segment, so that by the end, you've seen Ruhlmann say the same bit ("too salty" or whatever) like 5 times. Annoying. Crappy editing.

But I agree, much better and less sponsor-full than Top Chef. I'm looking forward to having a smaller set of contestants, where we'll get more details on what they're actually cooking...

[French Laundry at Home]

Kitchen Nightmares is great (not as good as the UK version, but that's to be expected), but we need more shots of Gordon taking off his shirt, because I believe that's why the wonderful folks at TiVo put the slo-mo button on their remote control.

As a woman, I wasn't offended when the first two chefs to leave Next Iron Chef were women, because from the get-go, they were the two least confident (at least in the edit they got) on the show. I know Traci is a great chef, but her presence and carriage (and edit, I know) didn't display any confidence in what she's doing. She came off as a wet blanket with no personality, which is unfortunate. And, Jill Davie, again talented at what she does, didn't seem to have the presence or fortitude to be what FN wants an Iron Chef to be.

And lay off Ruhlman's hair. If anything, it's Besh that needs a trim. He's starting to look like Bruce Jenner.

[Claudia]

The American "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" is infinitely more enjoyable than the British one, only because it's fun watching New Yorkers (the only Yanks so far) clash with Gordon. He's so used to less-confrontational Brits just sucking up his "agro," that I think he was a little taken aback by, say, the Italian-American family who owns Peter's (in Babylon, NY) screaming at each other full volume, and the son - a 250 lb. 6-foot-something boombatz no-neck monster, who could easily have pulled Gordo apart like an over-cooked lobster. (Yeah, Gordo got in his face - but a bit gingerly (!)) (Must've been interesting watching Gordo dealing with unionized NY kitchen personnel when he first opened at the London Hotel here. "Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!," to quote the Great Scot, in his prissier moments . . . Now THAT would have been a show.)

Please - I've had enough of Gordo's physique, as buff and jocky and studly as Mr. Ramsay knows he is. BVDs in Boiling Point, arse in Nightmares (UK version), chest in EVERY freaking episode of EVERY show he's done, and the weekly mention of his bollocks or sperm count (HK and F-Word). Yet, in My Last Supper, he goes for just an extreme close-up in B&W, and TONY goes for the full Monty (with strategically placed cow femur?. That's a might big bone you're packing, Tony.)

Logicalmind, I think Bourdain likes the SHOW (TNIC), but still loathes the network in principle. It's not like we're seeing Bourdain jump the shark and sign up for TNIC. As for Ruhlman - well, yes, he's been critical of the network in terms of its programming, but maybe he's hoping, with TNIC, that there will be more exposure of sushi-grade chefs and, consequently, more shows based around THEM, their technique and skill, rather than food-lebrities. Maybe?

Tony, you're jealous of Ruhlman's hair, dude - face it. His might be fine hair (and long and boyish), but you're gelling yours now, capisce? Let's not get into what 50+ year-old curly-haired men do when the curl (among other things) starts going. I'm just SAYIN' (!)

[FoodPuta]

I like to think of the judges table as a readers digest view of the last Supper. I guess with the hair thing going on, that Ruhlman can represent Mary Magdalene.

Not sure why, but it seems that every restaurant that Ramsay visits in the new Kitchen Nightmare is run by some wanna-be Tony Soprano??

Also Bourdain, you better be all rested up for your visit to Austin. I spent $2 on tickets to see you, and I expect to be entertained damnit!!

:)

[tamerakitten]

Ruhlman's hair is straying dangerously into MULLET territory and I'm not talking fish.

[Susan]

Kitchen Nightmares is my secret delight but I feel guilty. It's like masturbating in front of your parents.

[Susie]

Am I the only one who likes Ruhlman's hair?? Oh well. I agree that The Next Iron Chef is unfolding just fabulously. Soo excited for this Sunday's episode!

[StewartFip]

I still remember back with fondness to the single Cooking Under Fire season we were teased with. When the first challenge was to simply cook an egg, you knew you were watching a cook's cooking competition.

Top Chef, ICA -- everything else just seems to miss all the elements.

[search_for_the_holy_gruel]

I just love how NIC began right after Top Chef 3 ended, helping to continuously feed our addiction to these type of shows. And Kitchen Nightmares is a really good show but I do prefer the UK version. Isn't GR coming out w/another show called F is for Food? Anyway, Tony, re-runs SUCK! Can't wait til your new eps air in Jan.

[Sheryl]

Not loving the US version of Kitchen Nightmares, for all the reasons others have listed.

It's so incredibly formulaic.

1. Ramsay arrives, the food sucks. A large aggressive man is the cause for all of the restaurant's woes.

2. The crew sneaks in overnight and does some kind of renovation. Restaurant staff cry tears of joy.

3. Ramsay has a heartfelt one-to-one with the guy causing the restaurant's downfall, in which the guy realizes he has to change his ways.

4. First night of service is a huge muck-up, but everyone manages to pull through.

5. Ramsay holds some event "for the community" which obviously took place before the renovation, but is edited to look like he's been hanging around all week getting to know the locals.

6. The show ends and all is well.

Everyone seems like a stereotype with zero personality. The "drama" seems completely fabricated based on said stereotypes, and there's very little to do with the food. Also - no month later follow up. Just the annoying voice-over guy who you almost expect to end the episode with "... and everyone lived happily ever after."

Ain't none of those guys Momma Sherri.

[Jennie/Tikka]

I've been watching both versions of Kitchen Nightmare (finally had to delete the British version because it was the same shows over and over again). I don't see an appreciable difference in the show and see pretty much the same philosophy for both. Only major change is accent, which I'm grateful for (British accents annoy the snot out of me).

Can't comment on N.I.C. because I missed the previous epi but will be watching the next...

Jesus - I'm going to need a second DVR to get all these shows recorded!!

Correct me if I'm wrong - haven't read Kitchen Confidential in a long time, but wasn't the Seascape one of the restaurants Tony worked in as a summer job??

[The Foodist]

If he cut his hair what would you have to make fun of in the show?!

My only wish for NIC is that they feature more time on the judging.. I know the basics on why Chef DesJardin was booted, but we never got the nitty gritty. They spend more camera time on Flirt and Breast shots then anything else during the judging.

Your right though its great fun seeing them all mess around and having a good ol time in the kitchen.

[kay]

I second the love of Cooking under Fire (with the exception that I find Todd English a bit too, uh, slimey, for me). The NIC is a nice show and way better than Top Chef.

Ruhlman, yes, Tony he needs a haircut, please advise.

[Mai]

Food network seems to be going down hill, can we figure out a way not to have the kitchen that the chef's are working in at 132 degrees. The hoods needed to be turned off as not to mess with the audio when taping the show...does anyone think this though?? To see Chef Besh sweating like a pig over his food is just repulsive!!
I do enjoy watching the interaction with all the Chefs. Since we have ripped off K.Nighmares from the BBC can we also rip off "Great British Cooking" It was a show where a handful of Chef's cook off two at a time with their regional cuisine and cook a huge banquet for the queen,well in this case it would be for say the next Pres of the US coming to the White house in 2008.
GO Chef Lola!!

[initialdrew]

I agree about the UK version being a little more balanced. The US version is the Hell's Kitchen side of Ramsay with less sympathy and more screaming. I think we can thank the editors for that.

My problem with Next Iron Chef is everything seems so hurried. We don't get to see enough food and judge commentary. I like seeing a different side of Alton(makes him seem less TV personality), but he seems to be like a buzzing mosquito in the kitchen invading personal space and making unecessary comments.

All negativity aside, it's really cool and fun to see real chefs under pressure.

[Uncle hulka]

My Bourdain faith is shattered.

Interesting, pithy, clever, and humerous posts cannot make up for the fact that you did an entire episode of NR in Cleveland and never even once mentioned the "Dead Boys."

Shame on you, self-professed punk maven.

[rockandroller]

I think the US Kitchen Nightmares is sort of a cross between the UK version and Hell's Kitchen, with some of the good elements of both. Unfortunately, pushed together, the elements are like oil and water and don't really mix that well. We get juicy "yelling" moments and some "helping" moments but neither in their purer states as can be found in the original, respective programs. The obligatory shot of Gordo with his shirt off here, some bugs and a confrontation there, some magical transformation at the end of it all, but something is missing. With neither the soul (BBC show) or the complete lack of soul (Hell's Kitchen), we're sort of in the middle. It's a bit like consuming a peanut butter sandwich sprinkled with bits of cayenne. Doesn't quite taste right or sit well once it's gone down.

And I've never seen anyone as beefy as Symon at Screaming Mimi's. I doubt they even sell a shirt he could fit into. As you've learned from your recent travels, we Greeks are beefy and proud of it! You must be, to live on all that rich food and booze. :)

[purplesachi]

i absolutely hate the fact that in TNIC the clips before the commercials and after the commercials show what is about to happen. it's similar to going to the movies and having to sit there and watch the preview of the movie you are going to see!

also, todd english = creepy.

will there ever be another season of cooking under fire???

[bourdain]

Replying to my fellow Dead Boys fan: I regret not mentioning Cleveland's greatest export, the Dead Boys on the show, but I still haven't gotten over Stiv's death. It's just too...soon.
And as far as those annoying previews at the commercial breaks: Known in the biz as the "Tease Out". and "Tease In." As I have found out painfully from my own experience, networks dearly love these things. And are loath to part with them. My net would rather endure fisting jokes and references to "facials" than let us slide on this clumsy, offensive trope. As the thinking goes, viewers who might be channel surfing and haven't been following from the beginning, need to be quickly--and enticingly--"caught up" and brought up to speed,or promised excitement to come, so they will NOT change stations. I hate them. Everybody hates them. Like I hate pop-ups. But they are apparently so proven effective (however annoying and insulting to the intelligence) that to ask the net to do without would be akin to asking them to go commercial-free. It would be easier and more realistic to ask for more on-camera glue sniffing.
My complaint with NICA is the shameful lack of dick jokes, fart jokes and fat jokes. Those make everything better. Kind of like pork.

[rockandroller]

I think more on-camera glue sniffing would drive up ratings.

[Frances]

Something I find annoying that is endemic to the genre is the artful editing of reaction shots. I want them to mess up one time and edit in a reaction shot from another episode.

The good news is that the more chefs eliminated, the more time they have to spend on the judges' remarks. The bad news is that the chefs are so much fun I hate to see any of them go.

[Uncle hulka]

Thanks for the mea culpa, Mr. Redeemed Punk Maven!

I guess we all died a little bit with Mr. Bators.

Like the beloved Sonic Reducer, you ain't no loser, Tony.

[The lead singer of Flock of Seagulls]

What's wrong with Ruhlman's hair?

[Katie]

If you like FOX's takes on Kitchen Nightmares, you should check out the original BBC version - it is much better and a bit more "honest" in its portrayal. Also, Gordon Ramsay's "the F word" is worth watching if only to see a cooking show (of sorts) on speed, crack and a ton of other goodies. (Not to mention Ramsay has his kids picks out turkeys to raise in their backyard for slaughter...)

[WalkTheLine]

Hey Bourdain, Beth is RAD! I bought a grillbitch shirt from her and she accidentally charged me for two. She sent out the second and then reimbursed me for it. Now I have two of the coolest shirts on earth for the price of one! I want to tattoo your logo on my forearm...Would that be alright?

And to everyone else, I am a chic and I think that the show sans Davies and DesJardins should not be viewed by the "femmanazis" as anything...its just how life is. However, I do believe the system should have been based more on a point structure...it just seems more fair!

[Art the Troll]

Watched one episode of "Hell's Kitchen" and it was very bad. Watched one episode of "Kitchen Nightmares" and blogged about it last night.

Pretty good. I'll prolly watch next week.

[Joe Corey]

No tribute to Pere Ubu? They even sang about BBQ being smoked.

[Brian]

I think you're crazy, Tony. The Fox "Kitchen Nightmares" is terrible.

[doug]

Could we please settle on a singular acronym for The Next Iron Chef America?

[CDN Viewer]

Hey, how's it going eh? Can someone tell me who won TOP CHEF 3 so I don't have to watch the final 6 episodes on lousy Foodtv Canada ?

They just eliminated the Asian chick who added ice cubes to her milkshakes. That's how far behind we are.

[sheila mullins]

Tony! You're back. Finally, something intelligent to read. I totally agree with you about Ruhlman's hair.......but Knowlton is 100 times worse. That prim and prissy nitpicking girl gets under my nerves! Also, as a female, I do NOT think that there was some kind of conspiracy to get rid of the female chefs, like Alton said, sometimes good chefs have bad days. I am shocked, shocked I tell you that you went to England and Scotland and skipped Ireland. Shame Tony. I said on your blog on Top Chef that your comments on Rugby in Ireland had me crying laughing. Great stuff.
With everyone else here, I agree that Gordon's new show is fun to watch, but why is there always one or two morons in the Restaurant who do not know what they are doing? As for the food in The Olde Mill, vomit, vomit. That's all I will say about that.

[Sara]

I got about halfway through the post before my vodka-chilled mind shouted "Oh! It's Bourdain!" Welcome back Tony (and the people of DC would still like to see you drop by).

Kitchen Nightmares is good, because Americans are idiots and Gordon Ramsay is The Shit (TM). However, it is not as good as the BBC's Kitchen Nightmares, because that FOX voiceover guy is A. really annoying and B. narrating every moment. I have eyes, FOX, I can see what's going on. No need to tell me. And if you're gonna tell me, can't you have the hot British chef do it? Ramsay's voiceovers on BBC's Nightmares were brilliant.

Did you eat at Ramsay's restaurant in London when you were in England? I'm trying to finagle a lunch there (the set lunches are surprisingly affordable) when I'm in London in December.

[cookingfool]

Kitchen Nightmares USA: Still find Gordon Ramsey's personality fun to watch. Loved the UK show. I liked the first episode of KN NYC, but it's got boringly predictable fast, and, even more dejecting, so scripted without anyone bearing any appearance of being afraid of the fact that they are hanging out their dirty linen to millions of views and potential customers, that it borders on fraudulent. After the 3rd show who could possibly believe the quick personality changes and scripted editing. Even though I think that in our US show the predicitble outcome might make Gordon's persona more more accesible to US audiences and more "comfy" to watch, I found his edgy abrasiveness and manner in the UK show more exciting and more suspensful. This new KN is entertaining fun, but since the owner's foreknowledge of the power of Gordon's celebrity to bring in local leaders and stage a sucessful relaunch is so great, their self-efacement, tears and rants ring much too hollow and false.

So, even though the selection/casting has given us owners/chefs with personalities that make for an entertaining show, the lack of perceived risk and superficial production/editing values has turned something that was also interesting and with at least perceived suspence, into a simply somewhat entertaining predictible formula kitchen sit-com. I hate that aspect of it. Although I must admit, if this new show had been around in the mid 1980's, I would have welcomed having my floundering Connecticut restaurant featured on KN and would have performed self-effacement,sorrow, despair,rage in whatever way I would have felt the producers wanted me to, and, yes, even may have resorted to not sweeping the floor or not cleaning the oven-- well, no, I could not have, for real, not cleaned, but, yes, I would have "staged it"in order to have had Gordon'ts production team give it a good relaunch.

As far as Next Iron Chef goes, I was really excited at the prospect of watching real top chefs good enough to be considered as an Iron Chef prepare their best and have a stiff competetion. The situations the producers have chosen don't seem to be eliciting much excitement or tension yet. I want to see these chefs seriously challenged to compete with their best cooking and not put in contrived silly positions like having the hoods turned off or making the second episode a Mr Wizard in the kitchen show (although it could be interesting as a half-hour show by itself). Show these chefs preparing their foods and the judges giving reasons for their decisions. Yet, I love the concept and I do want to watch the show. Just please stope the silliness and show me more cooking and decision-making process of the judges.

About lead ins. Hey Producers: Stop repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating (ops sorry) the same tags before and after each break, and most of which also appeared in promo trailers. Gads!

Don't Bash Todd English. He can't help that he's got dark piercing eyeballs, dark hair and kinda glides clam, quiet and smooth when he moves. Jeeze. He's a great chef. I loved the show he did on PBS when they were having a competition to add a new chef to one of his restaurants.

The haircut: It really is only a shade short of a mullet. And ages ago old.

[maranellomodena]

Bourdain - You have no right to criticize until you feed those snails you serve at Les Halles. They were starving. The poors thing must have been anorexic. Force feed them if needed, but scrawny snails do not make for a good appetizer. :-)

[Skawt]

bourdain sez:

"My complaint with NICA is the shameful lack of dick jokes, fart jokes and fat jokes. Those make everything better. Kind of like pork."

What does eating warthog colon make better? Oh, yeah - the desire to kill yourself. ;-)

[thorswitch]

Doug - Hung

Re: GRrrr and his nightmares - I'm having a blast with the US version of the show, though I really do miss Gordo doing his own narration. The FOX Narrator is annoying as hell, and just doesn't have Ramsay's way with words. Yeah, the shows so far have been rather formulaic, but there is still a sense that Ramsay really does care about these restaurants and genuinely wants to see them succeed, which is cool. Of course, I also like Hell's Kitchen, so there may just be no accounting for my taste.

I HATED the 2nd season of Top Chef, but even with the 3rd season apparently trying to set some kind of land-speed record for the most product placement mentions that can be made in one season of a TV show, I have to say I found it much better - and I really love it when you're on as a judge. You and Coliccho are just too funny to watch together, and your reaction when Howie quoted your book at you still cracks me up :)

I like Next Iron Chef a lot better than Next Food TV Network Star - and the air of camaraderie in the kitchen has a lot to do with this. On Top Chef, those guys are all competing in hopes that it will help springboard their careers, so there tends to be a lot of awkward attempts at trying to stand out out - even if its for having a bad attitude. On Next Iron Chef, though, the chefs have already earned a lot of respect and - while being one of the Iron Chefs would certainly raise their profiles - there's a lot more of a feeling of a friendly baseball game, with good natured trash talking, and no one trying to scheme or play attention hog. I'm REALLY liking that part of it.

[WalkTheLine]

RuhLmaN...I think your hair is hot...don't go changin!

[janet]

I presume that you're rooting for Sanchez and Morou to go next -- because that will really prove that the judging is fair and independent. After all, a woman or a non-white man could never win a really fair competition.

[WalkTheLine]

You know who I CAN NOT stand id Andrew Zimmern...he thinks hes such a bad ass..."Oh. Look at me everybody. I eat roasted, unemptied pigs bowels. If it looks good, eat it"
Thing is, Bugs do not look good...and whats with the fag outfits. What a moron!
If I were him, I WOULD kill myself!

[P.N.G.]

Blessed be you, Tony, with your commercial ransacking of that intellectual abyss known as Vegas, and your persistent Hunter S. Thompson references slicing through that sexed-up neon hades that was once full of life (much like your own Times Square circa '77), but is now the corporate theme park that you and so many of your generational brethren now despise as much as a filthy cat litter box in a homeless shelter.

Praise you, Mr. Bourdain, for being so daring, fearless, and all with a sense of a sardonic candy-ass charm, bumping around Nimibia, unwittingly running across that desolate monolithic desert, in this particular episode would find you eating, in great reluctance, dirt-grilled osterage eggs and wild boars' asshole. This almost leading up to a damn-near finale of you "washing your shoes' with YOUR own stomach lining.

Props, Anthony, for being reckless, self-destructive, brooding, over-wrought with a complex mixture of self-loathing and megalomania, and downright entertaining to watch. If your really like that in your own private life, then you are the baddest motherfucker out there, bar none.

And finally, and I think rather poignantly, Andrew Zimmern's got nothing on you. Yes, "Bazaar Foods" is mildly amusing, watching him engorge his bulbous head on things most people kill with a spatula, bee bee gun, or a two-ton truck. Although informative and passively entertaining, I can't seem to get past one thing:

He is your bitch.

Until I see his rotund gob ingest Boars rectum
with the nauseated-paleness of panache you exhibited, all the while trying to keep your insides from jettisoning violently forward,then I have to say that Zimmerns "little show thats kinda
gross" is just child's play.

Andrew is your Bitch.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro"

Peace

[Lisse]

FWIW, I like Ruhlman's hair. I also like KN, although the point about the annoying American narrator is a good one.

[Sara]

Never fear, peoples... Ruhlman's hair has a fan club. We're making signs and registering domain names as I type this...

[Victoria]

Ruhlman is *thisclose* to having some bad-ass grown out hair. It's just in the "bad" stage right now. Trust me, as a late 80s rock chick, I know my long hair on guys!

The Next Iron Chef can be summed up in one phrase.... I'm anxiously watching something on FN again, and not just for snark purposes. It's enjoyable to watch the chefs and their cooking, it's been surprisingly drama free, and this is going for a far bigger prize than even just the title of "Next Iron Chef"... it's interesting to watch these ulta talented chefs try to grab the brass ring that will take them to "celeb chef" status. Because they all deserve it but the masses wouldn't get it without this show.

And Kitchen Nightmares has been a joy to watch... mainly because the UK version shows mostly places that are utter disasters in both the food and management of a place, and the US version pretty clearly shows some egomaniacal owners/managers who are just running places in to the ground. Sure, we don't get the food focus like the UK version and as much about the menu changes... but for the places they've shown so far, the biggest problems seem to be in the owners/management.

[Drew]

I like Ruhlman's hair.

I like TNIC, although I agree with most of the complaints already listed here by others.

I like KN, but prefer the UK version, where GR actually comes across as a caring human being, in addition to being a foul-mouthed superchef. HK was unwatchable, IMO.

BTW: Bay Area foodies, and fans of Cosentino & Tony:

Bourdain will be in SF on Nov. 17th for a dinner benefiting the AIWF Scholarship Fund. Dinner ain't cheap, but it comes with a signed copy of AB's new book, and the meal is being prepared by Chris Cosentino, along with several other local chefs. It promises to be full of pig! More info at the AIWF website:

http://www.aiwf.org/site/calendar/event.html?calendarevent_id=1960&date=2007-11-17&

Cheers!

[Kalyne]

Des Jardin has publicly sworn off foie gras?

Personally (as someone not of the same "gratuitous animal cruelty is cool if it tastes good" mindset as Bourdain), I greatly appreciate this!

[realitybites]

I was hoping that you would visit Greece, Tony.

Any chance that you will go to Cuba? I would love to see the country through your eyes.

Love Kitchen Nightmares. Ramsay is brilliant--temper and all.

Never noticed Ruhlman was in need of a haircut. But I found myself wanting to take a razor to Symon's soul patch.

Andrew K. is kinda cute.

[Doodad]

Hope you had a good trip Tony, but you really need to talk to Bloomberg or whomever about getting your book tour to come to Atlanta. You are going to Arkansas, but not a real city in the South? WTH?

Ruhlman is just growing out his winter coat. You remember how cold it was in the Cleve.

I am really disappointed myself with KN. I love the Brit version and this one is just too hokey.

But, Next Iron Chef is great. Just the kind of mix of cooking and competition that I for one have found wanting in the other incarnations. It is too fast paced, but I imagine that will slow as contestants are weeded out. Seeing the CIA just makes it all the better having just finished Making of a Chef. My mental picture was way off.

Looking forward to your new book as well as Ruhlman's.

Take care.

[Joe Corey]

"What does eating warthog colon make better? "

Have you not tried TGIFriday's Jack Daniels flame broiled warthog rectum? It's better than a Chalupa Tartar

[Claudia]

Drew and Doodad, here is the full Tony schedule. And, you're right - Atlanta's not on it. Still no schedule on Bloomsbury USA, either:

Friday, October 19, 7p, Fayetteville Public Library, Fayetteville, AR:

http://www.accessfayetteville.org/government/mayor/news/anthony_bourdain.htm]http://www.accessfayetteville.org/governme...ny_bourdain.htm[/url]

Saturday, October 20, 2007, 8p: Paramont Theatre, Austin, TX:

http://www.austintheatre.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Home

Wednesday, November 7, 12p - Olsson's Books, Washington, DC:

http://www.booksite.com/texis/scripts/community/eventcal.html?sid=2890

Wednesday, November 7, 7p - George Washington Lisner Auditorium, Washington, DC:

http://www.lisner.org/eventdetails.asp?id=381

Sunday, November 11, 7:30 p - Capitola Books & Cafe, Capitola, CA:

http://www.capitolabookcafe.com/events/oct07.html

Saturday, November 17, 11:00 a - Book Passage, Ferry Building, San Francisco, CA AND:

Saturday, November 17, 12:30p-3p - Boulevard Restaurant, San Francisco, CA

http://www.bookpassage.com/event_nextmonth.php?start=48

AND

Saturday, November 17, 6p - E&O Trading Company, San Francisco, CA (Tickets for this benefit went on sale yesterday.)

www.greenapplebooks.com

Sunday, November 18, 6:30p - Cooks With Books@Left Bank Restuarant, Larkspur, CA:

http://www.bookpassage.com/event_detailed.php?id=1095]http://www.bookpassage.com/event_detailed.php?id=1095[/url]

Monday, November 19, 12:30p - Stacy's, San Francisco, CA:

AND:

Monday, November 19, 6:30p - Commonwealth Club, Bentley School Performing Arts Center, Lafayette, CA:

http://www.commonwealthclub.org/featured.html

Tuesday, November 20 - Keplers, Authors a la Carte, Left Bank Brasserie, Menlo Park, CA:

http://www.keplers.com/

Monday, November 26, 7p - Triple Rock Social Club, Minneapolis, MN:

http://www.triplerocksocialclub.com/shows/

Tueday, November 27, 7p - Solera Restaurant, Minneapolis, MN:

http://www.solera-restaurant.com/Solera_Events/anthony_bourdain/

Wednesday, November 28, 7p - Borders Books, North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL:

http://booktour.com/author/anthony_bourdain]http://booktour.com/author/anthony_bourdain

Saturday, December 1, 2p - Free Library of Philadelphia, Philadelphia, PA:

http://libwww.library.phila.gov/calendar/calbydate.cfm?DiaryDate=%7Bts%20%272007%2D12%2D01%2000%3A00%3A00%27%7D&type=2 (Philly)

Monday, December 3, 7p - Barnes & Noble, Union Square, NY, NY:

http://storelocator.barnesandnoble.com/results.do?ls=rO0ABXc9iG%2Bs4QIAAQAAAAEhAAEhAAEhAAAAAAhCb3VyZGFpbgAHQW50aG9ueQAAAAEhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA%3D%3D
I spotted these online, but these were not confirmed:

http://www.chowhound.com/topics/442683 (Montreal, Corona Theatre, Dec 12 )

http://www.pittsburghlectures.org/index.php (Monday, March 31, 2008: Carnegie Music Hall, Pittsburgh, PA 7:30 pm, $28)

Enjoy tonight's gig, Fayetteville.

[artnlit]

I watched the rerun of TNIC last night and stick to my original post, with a few added comments: Ruhlman's hair could use a trim, but is still not as bad as Andrew "Breck shampoo" Knowlton's; Sanchez needs to develop time management skills BIG time; the cleavage shot of Donatella during the critique of Sanchez's offerings was more than a bit obvious and annoying (trying to get a close up of the food? Puleze!); and more time needs to be spent on the actual judging and explanations.

Now on to Gordon Ramsay - apparentely I have missed these instances of "nips" and chest flashing, but it's not necessarily something I want to see anyway, because his temper, while tamed in KN, is a total turn off. While I do think he is skilled and knowledgable, an a-hole is still an a-hole. I'll stick to our man Bourdain whose snarky nature and overall personality (and perhaps latest photo) is more fulfilling on multiple levels.

[artnlit]

PS. Regarding the schedule above for Tony (thanks to Claudia), I can tell you that the Pittsburgh March lecture is indeed scheduled. It probably is not considered part of his "book tour" and thus, not confirmed on the original itinerary. The lecture series is it's own entity. I have my ticket already of course.

[Mai]

Ruhlman's hair reminds me of the blond elf,Hermey who wants to be a dentist on Rudolph the Red Noise Reindeer!! You know the one!! Yukon Cornelius and the abominable Snowman!!
God love ya , Ruhlman!!

[Kevin]

I too am astonished at how good the new Kitchen Nightmares series is. This is definitely his TV forte, and he should stick with it. I thought UK restaurants were bad...looks like American restaurants are even worse! [Note to self: eat at home]

[D. Trump]

Michael,

Don't listen to these losers. I love the hair.

As for this Bourdain irritant. I wouldn't let him cook the staff's meal at my Florida getaway (which is for sale, Michael, if this TV thing takes off for you). I know it can get cold for you up there in Cincinnati.

[ChicagoRob]

Love the Kitchen Nightmares and NIC is solid. I'd love to see Bourdain and Ramsey team up on some show, maybe a No Res, or have Bourdain go with Ramsey on a Kitchen Nightmares episode. Throw a little Ruhlman in there, that would be heaven on tv. Keep up the great work Tony.

[Juliette]

re: Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon's evident passion and ideas for helping these restaurants (and the absence of his famous temper) can be enjoyable to watch. But the sitcom-happy ending in which the resident asshole ALWAYS becomes a great guy/manager/owner/chef in one week? Not very convincing, is it?

The UK version had a lot more focus on the food, before, during and after the makeover--and also some follow-up to show what really happened to the place after Gordon left.

Fox's show is diverting (mainly because of Gordon's charisma and the often shockingly awful "restaurant of the week") but not nearly as good, imo, as the original. Better than most other reality shows--but not nearly what it could/should be.

[Claire]

Nice job on the pumpkin, Bourdain. I assume you carved it yourself? No chance we'll be seeing you on, say, Rachel Ray's show doing a segment called "Pumpkin Carving with my pal Tony B."? No? Oh well.

[Claudia]

More like "pumpkin chunkin' AT Rachael Ray." Hopefully, that gig will be added to Tony's book tour. With a date in Atlanta, for the Tony-deprived brethren Down South.

Oooh - how about the skull n' knife logo released as a stencil next? Suitable for tattoo transfers, wall art and pumpkin carving - or is that too "Suntory time"?

[Ian B]

re. FOX's Kitchen Nightmares...You're crazy. It's bad. At least compared to the UK version. You should have done the U.S. version Bourdain.

[Shasta McTasty]

I watch the UK Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America as well as the American Kitchen Nightmares on Fox.

The English version seems more like a documentary: it's straightforward, no glitz, and egos clash in a much more subdued fashion. And Gordon Ramsay cusses.

The Fox version is tailor-made for us Levi's-Happy-Meal-Reality-Drama-Lovin' Americans. We squirm, watching insects scurry from the broken sealing tubing of an old fridge, we vomit a little tiny bit in the backs of our throats when we watch Gordon scoop up a fingerful of rotten "toMAHto" that was just served to a patron. We cheer when Gordon stands nose to nose with a lunkheaded owner/manager and berates him for eating an appetizer meant for a customer. And worse, we get all teary-eyed when Gordon takes his subjects to a football practice, or a boxing ring, and plays the role of culinary psychoanalyst to get to the root of a restaurant's failure.

The one consistent between the two versions of the show is Gordon Ramsay. He's the same in each one, which is the best part about them, really.

I like to imagine that Anthony Bourdain and I sit back and watch Kitchen Nightmares America the same way: with big ol', self-satisfied smirks on our faces.

But unlike Bourdain, I don't eat out anymore. No way, no how...

[Sara]

$175??????? To see Bourdain in DC? Who the fuck do these people think I am? Good god, that's a lot of money. Bourdain -- when you're here, please, I beg you, let me take to you Wheaton, MD, and get you the best rotisserie chicken you will ever taste. That only costs $4.95.

[Claudia]

Sara, the other DC gig at Lisner's is $28. (BTW, Tony's gig at the Fifth Gourmet Institute in NYC last week was $1,329, if you REALLY wanna cry. OK, so it was for a 3-day pass and Bourdain and Ripert's gig was just a small piece of the whole glorious smorgasborg, but that's what happens when a gig is wrapped around a bigger event - like the DC Capitol Food Fight at Olsson's.)

[artnlit]

But wait, you haven't even seen the hot online bidding for the Austin gig! Click on the link above for Austin, TX and read the blog/essays - someone got 4 front row tix for $1500. What the fuck?! I mean, come on now. This is getting silly! (Love ya, T, but what the hell are you going to DO for these people that they need front row??) It's not like it is a Stones gig or something! At least it supports the Paramount theater.

[Doodad]

I would pay $175 to see Tony. But, he has to diss Aunt Sandy once during the session.

[Doodad]

Front row patrons get to see his clandestine pics of Rachel Ray's tramp stamps he took at South Beach.

[JoP in Omaha]

I didn't see Cooking Under Fire. Why hasn't PBS released it on DVD? Argh.

I want the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares on US DVD. Arghhh.

I enjoy Kitchen Nightmares. I love Next Iron Chef. I concur with other opinions that a cumlulative score approach, at least for a few episdoes, would have been cool to keep the chefs around longer. And 90-minute episdoes would have been awesome. Let's hope the mega-DVD with tons of extra footage is sometime a reality. Are you listening, FN?

Symon says he's all about simplicity. Lola and Lolita now are on my "must go there" list. And, maybe I'll have to move to Cleveland, so I can take the occasional classes Symon offers. Oh, man. I SO want to do that. To watch him up close, to ask questions.....oh, man. Yeah, I wanna do that for sure. I wonder how the job market is in Cleveland......

Has any heard how Cosentino's cocks comb caesar did / is doing? Is it still on Incanto's menu?

I can't comment on the food that the NIC chefs are making (darn, wish I could taste it), but I find Symon, Besh and Cosentino the most fun to watch. I hope they keep surviving the challenges.

[Brooklyn Bitch]

Love Ramsay.
Love Kitchen Nightmares.
Trashy management, hideous restaurants, pure filth, and a cursing Gordon (who sometimes feels it necessary to go topless for moment or two), what's not to love?!
I can't imagine parking my caboose anywhere else except in front of the TV at 9PM on Wednesdays...even if that makes me classless American swine.

[Judd Tirnauer]

Dear Mr. Bourdain:

I am huge fan of both you and Mr. Ruhlman. I had the pleasure of meeting Pino Luongo on vacation in Parrot Cay, a conversation which was started when he noticed i was reading one of your books. He was fascinated to know that I enjoyed your novels as well as your restaurant diatribes. In any event, my passion for restaurants is fueled by both of your books, and they greatly increased my enjoyment of my meals at the French Laundry, Charlie Trotter's, and just last week, Per Se. I have a wall of fame of autographed menus from these memorable dining experiences and I would very much like to add autographed book covers of both you and Mr. Ruhlman. Please let me know if you would be so kind to do this and I will send books to you and Mr. Ruhlman immediately. I hope that you have time to read this post and respond with a addresses for you and Mr. Ruhlman. In closing, thank you both for all the enjoyment you have provided.

[Claudia]

JoP in Omaha, the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares is still being run on BBC America, if you get that channel, at several different times of the week. (In NYC, it's on Thursdays, with re-runs on Saturday and Sunday (and another the following Tuesday, if you have DirecTV)). You can check the BBC (UK and US) websites to see if they have the DVDs at all. They, doubtlessly, have a big pair of bollocks on the covers . . . (!)

[Marlies]

My complaint with NICA is the shameful lack of dick jokes, fart jokes and fat jokes. Those make everything better. Kind of like pork.

Posted by: bourdain | October 18, 2007 at 02:23 PM

Amen to that! M

[Hannah]

Wow Claudia, thank you for posting that schedule! I'd heard that he was coming to Minneapolis, specifically Solera, but had *no* idea he'd be at the Triple Rock! What a treat!

[The Professor]

Tony !!!!! Great to have you back...Ruhlmans hair is just perfect for that TV look, you know the camera puts 10 pounds on your hair so it is actually a burr. I am looking from my desk at my pile of CDs and The Ramones on on top, Dead Boys on top of second pile, but I am still pissed about that Allman Brothers comment in Spin. And, And Geee Whiz, Golly Mr Tony can you do a show here in Gallatin Tennesse, we have a great Dairy Queen that serves the best _______ in the world. No shit, man good to have you back in the world of us nuts!

[search_for_the_holy_gruel]

Tony, why are you avoiding Southern California on your tour??

[WalkTheLine]

Wow! Poor Tony...Gettin' bombarded...I'm even guilty...sorry bro!

[Scott]

The new Kitchen Nightmares is total crap. The restaurant owners have clearly agreed to take a weeks worth of bollocking in exchange for a new kitchen and nothing more. The really sad thing is that these terrible business people will most likely treat their new equipment with the same carelessness as they did the old.
Gordon Ramsay in the original series had some wit and charm. For me the change in narrators is key. In the old show there was a sense of personal investment from Ramsay because it was his voice that you heard. In the new series, Ramsay is just another character in the show. I know it isn't fiction , but it's close enough.The new series has Ramsay reduced to the role of game show host.
Rotting produce and visits from bill collectors do not make good television.

[Stovetop Traveler]

I have eaten at Jardiniere and it was sublime. I had a few friends that worked there as well. Too bad Traci is no longer on the show - I was rooting for her.
P.S. Come back to Seattle Tony.

[Sommelier]

From Frank Bruni's post: "The most priceless moment comes near the episode’s beginning, when one aspirant, Traci Des Jardins, the executive chef of the restaurant Jardinière in San Francisco, confronts an array of basic tasks that include filleting a salmon and deboning a chicken.

It’s a situation more firmly grounded in kitchen reality than a typical ‘Iron Chef’ stunt, and what’s fascinating is the way Ms. Des Jardins responds to it. Looking nervous, she says with admirable candor that she can only hope the requisite skills are still in her command, because she doesn’t handle such chores often anymore.

It's like riding a bicycle, for crying out loud! If you ever really knew how to do it, you can still do it! I left professional cooking to work with wines 21 years ago, but the basic skills (such as filetting and beboning) are things that I can still do... just not as quickly as when I had two cases of iced chicken or five whole salmon to break down.

No one should be called "Chef" who cannot perform such basic tasks. I think that this idea of declaring yourself a Chef traces back to the 1980s, when owners with absolutely no culinary training and who lacked even the most basic cooking skills simply decided that, since Chefs were the new celebrities, that they would declare themselves Chefs. The European system of apprenticeship keeps such phonies out of the kitchen. Take the time to read " The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen" by Jacques Pepin to understand how it really works.

[Juliette]

To add, re: the fairness of eliminating both women.

Yes, it was about food--but were eliminations really cooking challenges? Both weeks'were far more gimmicky than a face-off using the same challenging ingredient (ICA style).

Worse than "Top Chef", imo. Because neither chef was eliminated based on her skills, but instead on her inability to cook well in a wacky situation that would never be forced in real life OR on "Iron Chef America".

I'm surprised Tony Bourdain wouldn't rather see all of these great chefs allowed to COOK.

Also, re praise for the "fairness" of eliminating the women first. Imagine if, of the 8 starting chefs, 6 had been women. Imagine then, that the first two off (justifiable as it may be in the context of the challenge) were the two lone men!

I have a feeling both ruhlman and bourdain would call "foul" on basis of underrepresentation--and that others would think the ICA competition was designed to have a female winner (just by virtue of them being 6 of the 8 chefs from the start!)

I don't mind if a woman doesn't win, but I do mind that I never really got to see any of the great meals that Des Jardin and Jill Davie could fix--if not hampered by Top Chef-style gimmicks.

[WalkTheLine]

Ya all! do u really have nothing better to talk about that Bourdain or tnica

[WalkTheLine]

my spelling is shite...I really should read my things b4 I post them

[parkbench]

wow, claudia. thanks for the full bourdain itin.

However, it should be noted that our gracious blog-host RUHLMAN has a date in SF the weekend *before* Tony's, at the Ferry Building store Book Passage.

http://www.bookpassage.com/event_detailed.php?id=1126

And check out that glamour shot! The hair looks quite fine.

I would absolutely consider making the trip to SF from the California hinterlands if there is any chance of stumbling upon a tag-team meetup that week!

--parkbench

[Halo MasterChef]

The warthog rectum business; is there a 'prime directive' that you can't turn these people on to a few pots and pans and utensils and hygiene tips?

[Whatevs!]

I thought Alton was so annoying through the entire show.

Why does everyone think Tony is such a critic when it comes to rating chefs? Have any of you ate at Les halles..not that great! In fact, last time I was there the service was so bad I barely gave the waiter a tip!!

[bob]

Tony,
Kalitsounas?

[Sylvia (the pho girl)]

Hey Anthony! Thanks for coming to Fayetteville, AR. I had no idea where else to reach you and hoping you'll check all these comments. Just wanted to say I've read most of it, and made me miss it so much. Everything you describe just brought back so many great memories. Thank you! One day we should go out and have a bowl of pho!!