Milk Rant

Too busy to post or rant on my own at the moment, but can't resist posting this foul-mouthed slice of a Lewis Black performance, a sterling ranter if ever there were one.

Comments

[milo]

Funny rant. Although the answer to his first question is a simple one - milk is good for you (obviously some people are allergic or intolerant, but those are exceptions).

[Richard]

Micheal, I would have thought better of you. Being funny without being foul is much harder and much better. Maybe someday Lewis Black (and you) will come to understand that.

[Jason]

Classic Lewis Black. Freaking hilarious if it wasn't completely true.

[Natalie Sztern]

hilarious - pissing on the floor

[Slake]

Thanks, Michael. Very, very funny.

[Ben]

I am also disappointed in Michael's endorsement of foul mouthed.... Hah, kidding. Tool.

The milk thing was way funnier than the water thing, though.

[Eric]

This reminds me the first time I went grocery shopping in the USA 26 years ago (I am originally from Belgium). I was standing in front of the dairy case for many minutes, searching for milk. All I could find was Vitamin D Milk... Eventually, I relented and took the darn adulterated stuff.

[tim]

@Richard

Lewis Black understands that a rant is not a rant without employing a dozen swear words. And he is right.

[Michele]

I agree that a good rant requires ranting language!

[Tags]

That rant was more fun than trying to milk a monkey.

And who wants to drink water from where deer park, anyway?

[Chris]

He's right. There is no soy titty. He kills me.

[luis]

This guy is genius MR, thanks for the great post. I enjoyed it.

[Michelle]

Thanks Ruhlman,
That was great!
I needed a good laugh.

[Andrew]

Absolute brilliance. A blogger from the site ahungerartist.bobdelgrosso.com/ has a post that resounds brilliantly off this rant. I appreciate this immensely, as I do all of Lewis Black's material, and of course, your own.

[allen]

I didn't think this blog could get any better, it just did. Nice departure and downright funny!

[joyciel]

Haha, hilarious! Although it's kinda ironic he's ranting about bottled water when he, himself was drinking bottled water...

[Brian]

Thanks, Michael. There's 10 min I'll never get back. But I love Lewis Black, and couldn't look away. Now I'm late for work at the bottling plant.

[say my name]

loved the comment about soy juice. hate that crap.

[Megan]

Alas - the video is no longer available.

[milo]

The video is up right now, there may have just been a temporary problem with the server.

[Kevin]

Lewis Black is awesome as always.

@milo: lactose tolerant people are the exception, the majority are intolerant.

[Feisty Bourbon Girl]

Okay, Ruhlman's a Lewis Black fan. Very cool. And those of you fussing at him about posting something foul mouthed "Lighten up Francis!" (a great line from "Stripes"). You don't have to listen to it you know. Hit the STOP button and move on. Sheesh.

[Vivian]

Absolutely hilarious! I love Lewis Black's brilliant and demented mind.

[lisaiscooking]

Lewis Black is the best.
(but, I like soy milk)

[milo]

Michael said it was foulmouthed in his post.

Why would someone offended by language even click on it knowing that?

[Kim]

I love the milk rant! Have you seen his Candy Corn rant?

[David]

Milk is spewing from my nose I laughed so hard.... Funny funny stuff.

[ody3]

I love the info on your blog but this was just awful.

It has nothing to do with the language - which is foul for the sake of being foul - and more to do with coherence and substance.

It has no relevance. I want the three minutes I gave to this back! (but I'll still read tomorrows post)

[Shelley]

Love that you did this, Michael. I tweeted a link to it, so maybe you'll get a few new readers.

Speaking of that, I thought of you yesterday when I spotted the five stages of Twitter acceptance. :)

[Kate in the NW]

People who curse are not "foul-mouthed".
People who eat &^%$# McDonald's are "foul-mouthed" (though not "fowl-mouthed" - no actual chicken in there).

I'm always mystified at what some people choose to be offended by. While Rome burns, and all that....

I support soy milk smackdowns.

[craig]

Let's see, Michael has been known to associate with that potty-mouthed Tony Bourdain. Who is really surprised that he appreciates profoundly profane humor? Thanks for the look at lactose.

[carri]

F***ing Funny!

[Major Bedhead]

Lewis Black is hysterical. Thanks for posting this, I'd forgotten how funny this bit is.

[Maura]

Milk = gross.
Lewis Black = Brilliant.

[rockandroller]

I love Lewis Black, he's also great live, saw him at the HOB last year. He is a stitch.

[Angela]

This is brilliant and so hilarious (as well as true). Thanks for sharing.

[Tags]

-
We live in a transformative age, where common usage has mitigated profanity's sting. Lewis Black uses it as a comedic device, as part of a comic rant. The knee-jerk tsk-tsk is inappropriate in this case. Profanity is just a tool in the toolbox.

Of course, like all condiments, overuse can pucker the mouth and even the ears.

I just wonder if he eats chicken cluck fornication eggs for breakfast.

[Food Woolf]

A million thank you's for posting that hysterical video! That just made my morning!

[Cameron S.]

When someone warns UP FRONT that a video contains foul language you can choose not to watch it and then save your moral outrage for yourself.

I liked the video - they are just words anyways, what matters more is actions. I worry more about real things happening to real people than some false sense of smug morality.

Tut, tut, tut type people should keep it to themselves.

[Camusman]

Thanks Ruhlman. It really got the endorphins pumping on an unbelievably cold day.

[Greg Turner]

Love. Lewis. Black. Great routine. Thank you for posting it :)

[we the sheeple]

I am anxiously awaiting a rant on the food labels that warn consumers that their snickers bar is produced in a facility that processes wheat, nuts, and soy...I am so glad the government is looking out for my health and best interests!

[cory barrett]

Yet, Foldgers will do?

[Kathy]

Well...if it's Raw Milk, it's good for you and easily digested by those who are lactose intolerant. The pasturized milk is questionable, to say the least. Soy "milk" doesn't belong in the dairy case. Rant on!

[Kanani]

Hilarious and true.
Soy "milk" and Rice Dreams?
Water from Fiji and water sold by Coca Cola?
"Stay hydrated" has taken the place of "Are you thirsty?"
Merchandising has gotten the better of us.

[Beanie]

Every time I see Lewis Black, I end up laughing so hard that I'm afraid I'll have a stroke!

This was priceless!

[rockandroller]

Cory, great zinger!

[Tim Ross]

Mr. Ruhlman,

Please post something new I am dying at work and need a new Ruhlman posts about salted toffee, or seared skate, or the best tuna salad, or... gadzooks man anything to tide me over!

[Tags]

Yet not one word about

the milk of human kindness.

[Michael]

Really enjoyed your recipes. Just trying to get my head around peanut butter and cabbage! :)

If you're interested in food preservation and extending food shelf life then you may be interested in our eggstrafresh site.

Thanks,
Michael